Sunday 30 April 2017

Depression and isolation - Ever decreasing circles.


I get up, bleary eyed and head to the bathroom. Work had been busy last night but I have a few days off. I've got plenty to do. The cars need to be ready for a club meeting in a few days and theres always jobs to do on them. I'm lucky, I've got two sports cars, a decent career and the world is pretty good on this sunny morning in Surrey. Its mid summer and hot as a hot thing. My wife and I decide to take our young daughter to local event, since it's just round the corner, on our estate. She runs around between the tents and big vehicles like any other 6 years old, we get ice creams, and and all in all life is good.

It's a nice memory and brings smile to my face, as I recall all the hopes and dreams of three people that were seemingly there for the taking that summer.

And yet.....

Seven years later that little girl is now 13, her mother and I are divorced, the career and cars are gone, as are some of the dreams.

So what went wrong? To answer that, lets fast forward to now, or more correctly 24 hours ago.

I had rough night last night. roiling, seething emotions conspiring keep me from sleep. My situation is so far removed from my former life as to almost unrecognisable. In the 7 years between that hot summer day in Surrey and today, so much has happened, be it good, bad be it, irrelevant, irreverent, or simply inelegant, that I don't quite know where to start.

Depression, Isolation and the big myth. 

What image does the word "depression" conjure in your mind? Who do you see when you visualise the typical persons who might "be depressed"? The World health organisations estimates 350 million people suffer with Depression. Or to to put it another way 5% of the worlds population. 

Of those people, the "reasons" for the depression will be as varied and as diverse as humans themselves. I recent re watched some of the works by one Stephen Fry, who likened depression to "the weather" It's something that for many "just happens", and there's a great truth in that. 

I do like Stephen, since he brings to bear and intellect and honesty that is compelling. He openly discusses that which once resided behind firmly closed doors, and completes the enquiry and thoughtful examination of the issues from a perspective routed in compassionate and ethical discourse. That is a rare thing these days. 

"The weather" is such a good analogy, since when it rains, its just raining. No point denying that its raining, and of course at some point it will stop raining, the sun once more returning. Depression therefore is simply like mental rain. Our own personal cloud. And of course, when it rains, one cannot but get wet. 

Of course for some its hurricane, and for others a gloomy grey and leaden sky. For still others it is like an ever present fog, or walking through treacle. All these metaphors have been used at various times to describe what "depressed" feels like.

A good friend of mine who knows first hand what the feeling is like sent me this picture the other day:



It's very apt, or at least it is for me. 

So much for what depression is, but how do we deal with it? Well there are a few ways, and if we use an analogy of something like asthma, not all methods will be appropriate for all people. 

Over the next few days, after the bank holiday as my own circumstances allow I'll expand on that and share a few things that have worked, and still work for me, plus other ideas and suggestions on the issue of mental health, self care etc. 

As for what went wrong?  It's simple. back when I began to realise there was an issue, I took too long "just dealing with it" and when I eventually sought help for what had become unmanageable that help was patchy, being in some areas great, and in others woefully lacking. 

Whilst one can never say what an outcome "might have been" and I suspect that some situations would not have resulted in different outcomes, perhaps it may have been wise to act sooner. 

We shall never know. 

Have a great bank holiday ;-) 

Laters! 

Friday 28 April 2017

It's 25 minutes to midnight....

....and i don't feel much like going to bed.

Hi, 

Although paradoxically I'm not really a fan of the idea of being awake either. 

In the first case, I don't want to go to bed because that signals the end of another, somewhat empty and repetitive day, which feels much like failure. On the other hand since it is repetitive and empty, prolonging it in the hope that something might change amongst the dying embers of the last minutes is kinda forlorn - yet oddly compelling. 

This then is the paradox of depression. The disinterest in anything, yet boredom with being disinterested. Thankfully I don't have the anxiety that some have. I do have apathy in spades however. An ever present sense of futility, of the morbid reality that in a few short years the sum total of zero will return to precisely that integer. 

Of course all things die, its kinda what make life precious. The mere fact that it will end and that we do not know when or how is what makes every waking moment precious. 

But knowledge of that fact for someone in my position, someone for whom thinking, self awareness and logical examination is at their core of self, just adds to the feelings of abject failure when one cannot, as they say "make the moments count" and is merely reduced to "counting moments" 

I'm shortly to write a blog and other articles on the political machinations of the current moment, allied with the philosophy of politics as part of my mini series on philosophical basics. Yet as I sit here delaying the inevitable demise of what feels like another wasted & unproductive 24 hour period, I am left wondering just how objective I am likely to be on that point. 

You see, for me the coming election isn't just about philosophical ideals and varying economic models. It is, perhaps for the first time in my life, of great personal consequence. Should this country have a further 4 years of conservative right wing governance of the type that is currently in vogue, then my prospects are dire. 

However, should the classical socialist values reemerge, and gain some form of agency to actually reverse the decline in those things that go into the making of a society, like health care, education, employment, and infrastructure, then I may have a chance. 

Why is this a first for me? well because no government, regardless of political affliction, would let the military be seen to be none functional. Since it is an extensions of both government and country itself. Thus for all my years of service I was insulated from the realities of the civilian world that the vast majority live in. Elections didn't matter on a personal level. I went were I was told to, and was paid well for it. The government was my boss, and that was simply that. 

Recently I've written quite alot on the categorical nature of the human organisational mind. We love to think in categories. So here are a few. 

White
Unemployed 
British
Male
Married
Content
Director
Parent
Healthy
Self employed
Soldier
Nurse
Poor
Depressed
Profesional
Divorced
Employed 
Woman
Trans Gender
Intersex
Affluent

Each of these categorical descriptors all conjure differing vision and concepts in the mind. However. At varying points in my life, All of the above could be, and indeed were attributed to me. Or rather I to them, be that by myself or other observers.

The point here is that whilst acknowledging change as the only constant, I am still to a greater or lesser degree the same individual that I ever was. I am still "me" even if "me" isn't as it was 20 years ago. 

I see those I once served with, and others, who still exist within the categories I once inhabited. I had no knowledge of the true extent to which my bubble of existence was a two way mirror, the brightness of my own life eclipsing the view of the darkness surrounding it.  Opinions thus formed that were based on this limited view. 

However the irony, once expelled from the bubble, is that by being in the darkness you can see into the bright bubble very clearly, and therefore see more than those who still are where you once were. The sight is quite ... revealing. 

This is why there are certain areas of the country, usually the more affluent, that will still vote conservative in the coming election. Not because they are bad uncaring people. But because their two way mirror blinds them to the world beyond the bubble. They believe that socialism is "bad" since what they have now is "good" and therefore it must be ok for everyone. Sure it a generalisation but I'm sure you get the idea. 

Actually today did have one mile stone. A rejection from the local patient transport service. Apparently I don't have the correct license to drive then vans. 

I am left wondering what point I was making with this entry. I am not sure. Perhaps if anything it is that the value society places on a person has little to do with that person, but everything to do with notions of what it might be that the person stands for

That's actually a good metaphor for the "perceived wisdom" that JC, the current labour party leader is weak and unelectable. 

Why is this touted? Simple. Fear. Not of the man, but of what he represents. The fear that if a left wing classically socialist based view gains leverage then those currently with influence will loose their grip on that influence. To some extent they aren't going after JC the man. They are going after JC the metaphor. The conservative right and the current well entrenched power base wish to diminish the counter argument to their own growth and success. So they go after the categorical idea, with little thought to the man himself and the consequences of that approach. 

It's the same when lobby groups go after trans, LGB, animal rights, pro life or pro choice abortion debates. religious exemption etc etc etc... Denigrate the categorical reasoning and all those who might inhabit it. Call it dangerous, deluded, or whatever, and be damned to the human consequence and cost, or - if your second name is Trump - any adherence to historical and/or current versions of facts and truth. 

Well, at the risk of sounding grandiose. I am that cost, at least when considers Trans as an issue. Looking at where I was, what I did and why I did it, all with the best of intentions, but with the express purpose of "achieving" and being representative of something with perceived value, whilst not paying attention to my own self. 

Yet with the notable exception of family & friends. Little I had during that "success" was of true value. And whilst what I "represent" now may have less affluence and be of questionable worth to society, it holds within it a damn sight more truth, and thus actual value.

I wonder, and am sometimes asked, if what I lost was worth it. I have to say yes. Every time

You see, to use a Socratic expression, I did trade bronze for gold. I traded the appearance of beauty (in the greek sense) for true a beauty. Knowledge. 

And perhaps now at 25 minutes to 1 in the morning on my 229th consecutive day out of paid work, I have my positive thought. Slowly rising into the night from those dying embers. 

Peace out. 





Tuesday 25 April 2017

It doesn't get much more optimistic than this ....



We weren't born to follow .... 


This one goes out to the man who mines for miracles This one goes out to the ones in need This one goes out to the sinner and the cynical This ain't about no apology This road was paved by the hopeless and the hungry This road was paved by the winds of change Walking beside the guilty and the innocent How will you raise your hand when they call your name? Yeah, yeah, yeah We weren't born to follow Come on and get up off your knees When life is a bitter pill to swallow You gotta hold on to what you believe Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow And that your saints and sinners bleed We weren't born to follow You gotta stand up for what you believe Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah This one's about anyone who does it differently This one's about the one who cusses and spits This ain't about our livin' in a fantasy This ain't about givin' up or givin' in Yeah, yeah, yeah We weren't born to follow Come on and get up off your knees When life is a bitter pill to swallow You gotta hold on to what you believe Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow And that your saints and sinners bleed We weren't born to follow You gotta stand up for what you believe Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah



We weren't born to follow Come on and get up off your knees When life is a bitter pill to swallow You gotta hold on to what you believe Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow And that your saints and sinners bleed We weren't born to follow You gotta stand up for what you believe Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah We weren't born to follow - oh yeah We weren't born to follow - oh yeah


Failure is temporary, 
the need for effort eternal. Sarah

Possibilities, Principles and People.

Hi,

I've just returned from my Bi-weekly appointment at the job centre to sign on. Whilst there a very kind lady with whom I had met a number of times had picked out a few leaflets she thought might be useful and helpful to me, since I've now been out of work for 225 days, and she knows of my qualification levels and background etc.

It was a leaflet for the Army Reserves. In which one is allowed to complete 200+ days in each year with no adverse effects to ones job search benefits. It's good money, and in my younger days I enjoyed it.

It made me think. (no surprises there eh?)

A bit of History..

Some time ago after I'd left regular service and nursing, I chatted with a friend who is in the army reserve and who more or less offered that i could rejoin my old unit (back when i was a part time soldier it was called the TA) However, given the history I have with the army, trans, etc I was at that time somewhat reticent.

But what of now?

The lovely lady in the the job centre was looking at the financial angle, and to be honest its fair point. I'm very strapped for cash, and AR could solve that issue.

However. Back in 1995 when I first walked through the gates of my old TA unit, I wasn't there for money. I was an idealist. I believed in the goodness of the British Army, the UK and its mission to bring british values and common sense to situations around the globe.

Yeah yeah I can all hear you laughing already.

Nowadays I'm not so sure if I actually believed that or just never really questioned the stuff I'd been lead to believe from an early age. As a young 'un i was hungry for success, and affluence, I wanted to make a difference, do something worthwhile and interesting, and have a ton of fun whilst doing so. I was once asked by an officer during basic training why I had joined the medics:

"To patch up the holes made by other regiments, Sir"

It made him chuckle and we all got an early finish for that. 

Life in uniform has taken me to Germany, Iraq, France, Cyprus, Gibraltar, and Wales. I've moved around, been moved around and done some pretty cool stuff.

But was it Fun? Difficult question to answer that one. I'll fall back on a description of my one and only operational tour, that I coined some years back.

Hours of boredom, punctuated by seconds of shear terror, 
but made possible by many moments of laughter.

The people were and are the best part of my experience in uniform. But theres the rub. people were also the worst part, and remain the most unpredictable. 

My experiences in life have lead me to become more of a realist than an idealist these days. I am now aware that some rules are applied, and others not, whilst still others are applied when and if the situation demands, in something of an interpretive manner. All of which have varying moral significance.  So what of this idea of joining the AR? 

Well, I still believe wearing a military uniform is something one doesn't do purely for money. "why" is a more pertinent question than if it were say, part time at tescos's.  So if I was to look at rejoining there would have to be some other reason. 

I am a very different person to that 20 year old kid who first walked into the barracks. Not just in the obvious sense of trans stuff, but also due to 22 years of accumulated experience and "knowledge" (whatever that might be). My notions of ethics, politics, humanity, nationality plus all manner of other things lead me to question whether a military uniform might not button up just little too tight over so many opinions and questions. I have little time for autocracy, or "badge fights" so the likelihood is high I would run into many conflicts. 

I no longer "believe" in the innate common sense of the British way, or its lauded values. That Britain is long gone, if it ever actually existed. What we have now is ...something else. 

"Why" are the AR looking for people? Well one can suggest that its due to the redundancy and cuts the military have endured over the recent years. The organisation's own people have been very much short changed, after having committed much more to the "job" than the average employee might otherwise.  Thus, it feels somewhat mercenary to jump back in when others have been pushed out, and quite frankly, theres no trust between those in the uniform and the politicians that decide their fate at present. The oft quoted military covenant as it were. All the management stuff i've considered academically over the past year points to it being a can of worms in a shit storm of incompetence. 

But there's more to it than that. If I do not believe in what the British Army currently stands to protect, in the corporate sense, then were I to once more step into uniform, that would be merely for personal gain. As Kant might suggest, the maxim upon which that action is based could be judged as somewhat immoral. 

Or in other words, sacrificing my principles and what little idealism I have left purely for financial rewards. Thats the very definition of selling out. 

Don't misunderstand me. The British Army, as an instrument of UK diplomacy, still has its place. it's just that on balance, I believe there's no longer a place for me within it's ranks. Those who consider philosophy and questions of that nature are in general looking at the meanings in and of life. The conclusions I've reached lead me to believe the meaning of mine now lies in another direction. 

What that direction may be we shall have to discover via other means. 



It's ironic that some of the very things my time in uniform taught me are now the same things keeping me out of that same uniform. 

Sarah 


Monday 24 April 2017

gnothi seauton


gnothi seauton
Know ThySelf”

For my part, as I went away, I reasoned with regard to myself:

I am wiser than this human being. For probably neither of us knows anything noble and good, but he supposes he knows something when he does not know, while I, just as I do not know, do not even suppose that I do. I am likely to be a little bit wiser than he in this very thing: that whatever I do not know, I do not even suppose I know.”

Socrates.

Frivolity, Choices, and Decisions

Hi,

Prologue:

I wrote this some weeks ago for the F word blog site. Recent family events in my personal life have lead to me deciding to post the article here. 

I changed my name almost 2 years ago now, and informed various people in and around my family of the decision to deal with my own experience of the trans gender phenomenon. This resulted in a a general use of feminine pronouns, obviously the decrease in use of my old details and some positive changes. 

Two years down the line, I have a good relationship with the majority of my family, my Daughter is more interested in Skype, Minecraft and an impending visit to insomnia in august than in what she suggests are rather obvious questions of gender. (Kids.. don't you just love em?) And rightly so. 

However:

There are those who would paint themselves as LGBT friendly via social media etc, yet still refuse to use my actual legal name. I have let this pas on many occasion up to this point, since my focus was often elsewhere, but things change. Now OK, mistakes happen in verbal conversation. But not in written. This wilful and frankly dishonest variance between public and private actions is damaging.

Damaging, but not as you might think, to me. Rather it is damaging to one about whom I care deeply, and who cares for me, via disparaging and dismissive remarks around trans gender and me specifically. Remarks that come to the ears of one who is by virtue of circumstance bound through family ties to both sides of the argument.  

As regular readers may know, I'm a philosophical sort, open to discussion, and aware that multiple opinions exist.  However when one hides behind the flag of inclusion, yet denigrates that which it stands for and the principles upon which it was envisaged, then one forfeits the privilege of being taken at face value in any discussion. 

Why? because one has shown a lack of integrity. So with that in mind there are limits to my patience, and understanding. 

So in a departure from my usual general comments i'll make an aimed and specific one. By all means disagree with me. But be aware, your opinion is not universal, and your decisions and actions in choosing how and when to voice it leave much to be desired. Like all of us, those decisions, and actions will have consequences. I suggest next time you're tempted to voice things of this nature, you are mindful of that fact. 

So, since it seems relevant to the point at hand, here is an edited version of the article from a few weeks ago: 

Is “Trans Gender” a frivolous endeavour?

Recently Fay Weldon added her opinion to the ever increasing morass of views on the “trans gender debate” Suggesting that trans women choose their direction in life based on frivolous judgments and a perception that life is easier as a woman.

Gender is currently a fiercely divisive topic, and not least on the point of whether there should even “be” a debate on the issue. The temptation and indeed reaction from the trans population to recent comments from Fay Weldon, Jenny Murray, Julie bindel, and Germain Greer plus others like them is often derision, scorn and shouts of “trans phobia” and “exclusionary” rhetoric. The recent spate of “no platforms” at universities is evidence of the spreading “moral outrage” at these challenging views being given a stage from which to state their case.

But let's step away from the “outrage” and “knee-jerk name-calling” for a minute.

Consider that the latter two in the above list are long time contributors to the debate on gender as a whole, of which trans is simply one part. Both are noted academics and thus are not unthinking people. Arguably the other proponents of their views are less academically lauded, but non the less Fay read psychology and economics at St Andrews, and Jenni Murray is a long time served reporter.

The common thread here is age. And experience of the historical feminist shift in societal view. To dismiss out of hand the opinions of the contributors and founders of those early discussions is in my opinion to invoke a mistaken kind of moral relativism.

Many many years before our current crop of thinkers were born, another walked the athenian streets. He spent his time there questioning, thinking and criticising. At his death he postulated:

“The unexamined life is not worth living”

This man was Socrates, arguably the founder of modern philosophy and critical thought. So for the proponents of trans gender legitimacy to cry foul and disengage from the debate on the basis that these things should not be examined because they are “too important” or “already known” is perhaps not only erroneous logic, but also counter productive, and a little arrogant. So with that in mind, I decided to explore the question “Is trans gender frivolous”? 

To answer that one really has to consider “why, and how, does one transition?

In researching this article I came across a video of Germain Greer on a discussion panel in 2016. In it she acknowledges that the older interpretations of human sexual biology are perhaps too simplistic, and that some of her former arguments no longer stack up to new evidentiary rebuttal. (She alluding to research and knowledge of the oft misquoted xx/xy chomosomal sex dichotomy)  However the interesting point for me, is that she then went on to say the following:

“…...The interesting thing to me is this, if you decide because you're uncomfortable in the masculine system, which turns boys into men often at great cost to themselves, if you're unhappy with that, it doesn't mean that you belong at the other end of the spectrum”

At this point the chair intercedes, and there follows some discussion with a follow up from Greer that one can't know “what the other sex is”

I find this engaging because if one takes the first statement it seems to make the case for the genetic legitimacy of the `none binary” phenomenon. A perhaps surprising viewpoint for one such as Greer.
though not an unwelcome one.

Many trans people however, do begin at this place of discomfort that she describes. The prevailing pro trans argument over the last few decades has been that this was evidence of “always” having been what society describes as a “man” or a “woman” in-spite of outward appearances. The following sentence might fly in the face of a pro trans argument, but it would not seem unreasonable to question this, and examine the logic behind it. 

One is not born 'man” or a “woman”. One is born a child with a genetic composition that leads to a certain set of developmental outcomes. In some individuals that is “classically female”, in others “classically male”. However there are a significant proportion of the population that have a combination of both. This phenomena is called “intersex”. Not inter-gender. And with good reason, for it specifically relates to developmental biological factors. "Gender" although synonymous with "sex" is not quite the same thing.

Thus consider someone who was assigned “male” at birth (AMAB) due to examination of outward physical appearance, and who subsequently transitions. It is fair to suppose that despite initial appearances to the contrary, their genetic or internal anatomical composition may not therefore be “classically male” in this sense. It could be hypothesised that this difference is the driver for the transition to occur. I'm alluding to anatomical brain studies here, and the simple idea that “intersex” may actually include people of a trans gender nature to a greater or lesser degree.

What does this mean? Well it means that a trans woman wasn't “always a woman” nor a trans man “always a man” Since that's an over simplification and ignores valid societal developmental influence. (nature and nurture) Also the terms “man” and “woman” really belong to the field of gender, not to the field of biological descriptors, thus to use them as such is in my view confusing and wrong.

What the intersex argument may actually mean is that they were always themselves and then at some point decided to do something about how they felt. The cause of the feelings being the anatomy and physiology described above. After which they remain themselves. Knowledge of biological factors is now suggestive of a male/female continuum rather than dichotomy, as professor Greer seemingly accepts, thus it opens the door for yet more discussion on this point. In my view that's a good thing.

Gender: the new schrodingers cat?

The second point of “knowing” is also very much a philosophical context. A point Professor Greer makes during the panel in question.

Professor Greer isn't actually wrong in her comments here. Philosophically we can only “know” ourselves and cannot know or experience the life of others as they do, for we are not them.
It is this single point that sits at the heart of all debates on gender, sex, biology, human behavioural biology and genetics. What we might broadly group together as “The questions of the human condition”

We humans only “know” our own lives. Indeed, for many years pre transition I repeatedly returned to this same question in my mind. “how do I know what I feel like, for I always feel like me?”

I'm one of those people that professor Greer cites often in her arguments. An early 40's transitioning individual who came to a realisation about their own lived experience a little later than some. Singular narratives are always slightly limited in scope and applicability, but I know for myself the reason(s) why I transitioned were not merely clothes, or because of a perception of life being easier etc as Fay weldon might suggest. It was a long long long process of introspection and questioning, of consequential thought and “what if's”. Consideration of family, friendships, physical and mental health to name but a few. It was also a decision taken in the knowledge that society deems it questionable, stigmatising people as a result. Suggesting therefore that such a decision is frivolous would seem to be both illogical and false. 

With her comment regards "knowing" however, Professor Greer misses the bullseye by a mere inch, since in stipulating that a trans person “cannot know” what the/an other gender(s) feels like, she purports to “know” something that she advocates cannot be known, namely a lived experience of a human other than herself. A better premise would be to advocate that others cannot know what a trans person knows or perhaps more accurately, feels. 

This then is the Schroedinger's cat analogy of gender. One cannot prove what is or isn't known to another person by what one knows about oneself. The questions of perceptions, their validity and causality, and of the horizon between mind and body have kept philosophers busy for centuries, dualists and physicalist arguing about to what degree our minds are the sum of our parts.

The simple truth is we “do not know” how trans people feel, or why they feel it, except for that which they can communicate in respect of those feelings. I only know my own experience, it is mine, no other person has it and I cannot have theirs. Thus the way to gain a better understanding of the trans phenomena as part of the human condition is for trans people and cis (non trans) people to engage in debate.

Indeed Julie bindel herself makes this point in an article way back in 2007. She was part of a panel debate which considered the necessity or otherwise of “gender confirmation surgeries”. The debate considered the argument that these surgeries are performed in great numbers in countries where being gay or lesbian in illegal, and thus are used as societal tools to render people as “heterosexual”. We of course know the conflation of gender and sexuality to be a false one, but that doesn't mean certain countries, in this case Iran, have stopped using it as a basis for their societal ends.

Why is this important and relevant? Because it opened the future debate into questioning “why?”. How do we in the western world justify these confirmation surgeries and are they being used effectively? By monitoring the results of interventions and looking at results. These justifications regarding the improvements to a persons life resulting from surgeries and the arguments for those surgeries being the most ethical medical treatment route (when compared to reversion therapy) are still valid today. If society didn't have the debate we wouldn't have gathered data and thus could not prove it to be so.

So, to return to the title and the question raised by Fay weldon. Is trans gender frivolous? We've looked at why people feel the need to transition, and how people might arrive at that point of decision and action, but often once that decision is made I'd admit there can be an outward air of frivolity, or to put it another way the flood gates open and the world suddenly seems fun after years of feeling confined by unseen forces. I'd liken it to a bull who has spent their entire life in captivity chained up in a pen unable to move, and is then set free into a field and paddock. Im sure you've all seen the video's on you tube or Facebook, they go a bit nuts for a while, then eventually calm down. “kid in a sweet shop syndrome”

This is of course a part of an individuals journey in life and their own lived experience, thus informing the overall debate on gender issues, but its not the whole story. The gender debate is part of our questioning of the human condition, both individually and societally. To once more quote the old man in the athenian marketplace as written by one of his students - Plato:

Know thyself”

In striving to do so I believe one can obtain a greater understanding, though not knowledge of, others as result. For some people, Knowing themselves is a life's work, and includes an element of gender transition. That is in my view, and despite ascertains to the contrary, is a very very long way from a frivolous undertaking.


Sarah Ellis

 twitter: @cycle_sol

Epilogue

To "know ones self" is the essence of what we teach our future generations. By placing upon them the burden of our prejudices coupled with an expectation of a shared viewpoint, we stifle not only our own lives, but theirs too. 

Sunday 23 April 2017

I was just thinking ...

Hi,

I was just thinking I had not written much on here for a while, being busy with the bike blogs and screwing up some part orders.

Then I stumbled upon this on facebook:



I wrote a reply, and as I was writing it I thought, "hang on its getting long winded, why not expand this into blog?"

So I have. ;-) 

Here's the reply:

As a trans woman, this meme is funny, but maybe a little unhelpful. Or perhaps incomplete. It's problematic because it conflates biological arguments with sociological ones and creates "a fact" from a categorical definitional argument that is somewhat subjective. It cites a same argument premise that is used by the opposition to denigrate trans rights. "namely i believe it, therefore its fact therefore all contrary opinions are wrong" In doing so any detractor or discussion is shut down as inappropriate, whether you agree with the bottom statement or not. Food for thought perhaps.

So, to expand on that:

Firstly I'm going to say I broadly agree with the meme. Or, at least the part that says trans women/men are women/men. I agree with it's inclusive sentiment. However:

Lets take the first statement. 

"Saying that some some women have a penis and some men a vulva and is biologically accurate".

Two questions need to be asked here. 

1) Is it true?
2) And how would we know this? 

1) Some people are born with indeterminate or ambiguous genitalia. Some are born with what appears to be normally formed genital antomy, and then later in life express feelings or desires that would lead them to identify with an "opposite" social gender group in some way. The first people we call "intersex", the second group "trans". The reasons as to why this occurs are wrapped up in discussion of anatomical, physiological and genetic human development. Thus it centres around the male and female categories. These terms are still being un picked, due to the erroneous conclusions of an early 20th century biologist being given false credence. However it is the case that some people who present in the social groupings of  "women" or "men" may have genitalia more commonly associated with an "opposite" gender group. 

(I go in to much more detail on this here )

Thus the first statement may be true. I say "may" and the reason for that will become apparent shortly. 

2) We know this much because of research and the existence of both trans people, and intersex people. Research into the brain, human in utero development and multiple studies be they anthropological sociological or otherwise. Plus simply just talking to people.

Let's take something else that seemed odd. If the first premise can only be proven to a level of "may be true" then what of the second ascertain?  Since it uses the word "because", one has to believe the second premise in order to believe the first as they are written: 

"Because trans women are women and trans men are men and your opinion on the matter does not change that fact"

The meme further digs a hole here by stating that trans women are woman and trans men are men as "fact" Yet "a fact" by is it very definition is something which we "believe" to be true, usually due to evidence or what we call proof. For example how many known facts have we humans proven to be false over our history? Specifically in the realms of scientific discovery? It was once a known fact that the sun revolved around the earth for example. 

Thus a "fact" is a movable feast. It is merely the commonly shared belief that something is true to the best of our knowledge at the time in question. In other words a "best guess" given the available evidence. 

Indeed it was "a fact" that females genetically had XX and males XY until very recently. Similarly this fact is now being disproven. Thus to hang an entire argument on the validity of what one believes to be "a fact" may see that argument fail when/if the "fact" is disproven. 

So, given that I am in the pro trans camp how do we pitch this whole premise onto more solid tera firma?

By recognising that the evidence suggests that there may be biological arguments that back up a widening of the sex categories. By recognising that the social categories of man and woman may need redefining to indclude those previously excluded on the basis of old out dated "facts". Therefore engaging in debate on how this should best be achieved. 

And crucially: By refusing to cite "facts" as a reason to shut down discussion of the issue and thus label any detractors to the concept as "wrong" bigoted" "outdated" etc. 

I'd rewrite this as: 


"Saying that some some females have a penis and some males a vulva is biologically correct".  Therefore trans people are valid, and they deserve to be treated as such. "

My biggest gripe with this meme is that it speaks of inclusion whilst shutting down discussion. It speaks of, or alludes to the rights of the trans population with out inviting discussion as to why. And finally it leads those who have for years based notions of gender on genitalia and xx/xy which was after all a known "fact" to disengage from the debate since they believe our "facts"  to be based in fallacy, and that our unwillingness to discuss them is evidence of a lack of evidentiary backing. 

These are the very people we need speak with and to. To educate, and not simply shut the door on. 

If we shut the door, some people may see that as taking a stance against detractors and the nay sayers.  But if we shut that door, discussion and knowledge cannot progress. Decisions as to what role the trans and intersex concepts play in human society cannot be made. 

In short. Trans cannot grow behind a door shut to the possibility of discussion and debate. 

Those who oppose the validity of trans concept will always debate. Therefore so must we. 

Sarah 

Tuesday 18 April 2017

Snap election.... first thoughts.

Hi

So The PM just announced a snap election.  Saw that one coming from a mile off.

June eh?

Consider the issues The PM faces. A slim majority in the house, brexit negotiations that even senior civil servants don't want touch, a looming electoral fraud investigation about to report...(will it do so now in the wake of the results deemed damaging to an election ..with shades  of the Hillary and Trump battle ringing in our ears?)

On the other side should the Conservatives retain power it maybe with an increased perception of legitimacy of message. Mrs May has often been accused of  being an unelected leader with no mandate for drastic action.

Labour stands ready. Lib Dems stand ready. So the 2/3rd vote in the commons looks pretty good for a yes outcome.

I have to say..were I in Mrs Mays shoes right now, i'm not sure i'd want to win. After all, Cameron resigned and walked when things got really daft. This is a good way out for `May in that if she were to loose she would avoid the accusations of cowardice that followed Mr cameron out the door of number ten.

What happens next remains to be seen, i'm interested in Jeremy Corbin response, though i doubt the BBC will give him much air time, and PM's questions over the coming months might just be worth a look, if only for the comedy value.

In the words of the incumbent of 221B baker street,

The games afoot,
Follow you're spirit, and upon this charge,
Cry "God for Harry, England and St George". 

------------------------------------

Monday 17 April 2017

The logic of being daft....

Hi

My recent short post yesterday was an admission that I'm perhaps a wee bit lower of mood than I had previously contemplated, or been willing admit. Last night I received an invite over to friends house  and after some deliberation decided to go. They have two children, the youngest of which is 2 yrs old, fearless and funny, never failing to raise a smile. It occurred to me upon my return that I haven't really got much in my daily life that's "fun" presently.

Then a small voice from the depth of my head asked:

"what's fun anyway?" 

It's dictionary definition is "doing something for reason of it own enjoyment" or something like that.

So..yup you guessed it.. I googled a "philosophical" definition of "fun"

Now I didn't come up with much on "fun" per see, but I did find some interesting things about "humour" and "laughter":

Stanford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy

By all accounts the early greeks such as plato and his contemporaries had dim view of laughter and merry making, seeing it as a lack of self control and unworthy. It seems that they were so wrapped up in the seriousness of their "questions of being" that they had no time for such things as would make the experience of living that much more enjoyable, which was I thought quite odd.

I bet it was a laugh a minute in 350BC Athens.

Yet Aristophanes wrote "Clouds", a satirical play where he mercilessly took the Mickey out of Socrates and others. So laughter wasn't an alien concept.

Here though, the opinions of the early thinkers begin to make sense. It's not the laughter and humour that's the issue. Its is why we laugh.

Plato and his contemporaries .. Aristotle etc, saw laughter at someone as a sign of one being unaware of self. For example we might laugh at a fool who believes themselves more competent than they are, yet in so doing we show ourselves to be somewhat self absorbed, believing ourselves above those being ridiculed. This we might now called a form of bullying, and thus the correlation between the early greeks disapproval of laughter and an immoral action begins to make sense.

But what of laughing together and shared experiences of fun? Well I haven't delved into this in any depth, as tbh I might leave that for another time. But it puts me in mind of a piece I read on the value of friends some years back....

Sadly I can't find it, or who wrote it, nor can I remember where or how I read this, but essentially the point of the piece was that "friendship" is not something critical to life, as for example food, water, or air might be. We can live without it.

Rather it's the case that friends, (and I'm gonna add in shared fun here) are something which gives meaning to life, and thus enriches it's value.

Whist having friends has no survival worth to the processes of life per see, they are one of those things that add great worth to survival, and to life itself.

So, perhaps the lesson here is that when looking at serious, sometimes dry, sometimes personal topics, not to get bogged down in them. To remember that life isn't all about logical arguments and morally acceptable viewpoints. Sometimes its about doing precisely the opposite. The illogical, the silly, the daft.

Because our ability to do that, to enjoy the moment, is where life and the living of it truly resides.

As you'll see in the video, something I once knew rather well, and seem to have forgot.. ;-)



So, with that in mind I'm gonna chuck on some tunes and get ready for the seat post parts arriving this week. I need to go fall of my bike a few times. 

Sarah


Sunday 16 April 2017

Sometimes you just gotta call a spade a spade.

Hi,

Yup, in my case that spade is depression. I've kinda skirted round it over the last few days but I have to say there comes a point where euphemisms no longer cut it and you gotta deal with what is in fact staring you between the eyes.

S'funny though, what wth the anti testosterone stuff and the oestrogen I kinda had to wait it out and figure if the mood changes were just the usual highs and lows in that process or not.

How much thoughts and feeelings are parts of the physical me, and thus results of that narrative is an ever present question. But no, reaching just past noon on the fourth consecutive day of disinterest I would suggest there is more to this than chemical, yet depression is by its very definition a chemically derived imbalance.

But that's not really the case is it..? Thats just a mechanism for how it comes about. "Made of" rather than "is" The cause, in my case, is circumstantial, entirely deep and meaningful and yet simultaneously banal and shallow. I have no point, no purpose to life that I can find on a daily basis. I exist for sure but the reason for that is hidden from me.

Perhaps life is it's own ends and means, and we are mere cattle on the train to inevitable doom, no more meaningful than any other creature one could mention....

Seeking solitude but disliking ones own company, finding interaction with the world both intimidating and annoying, and having nothing to say yet wanting people to hear.. If that aint classic depressive manifestations i dunno what is.

I mentioned faith in my last blog. That's the core of it. I have little faith that people give a shit. By which I don't mean those who know "me" whom i would count as friends. I mean those who don't know and don't wish to, who would discard application or discount ability without a second's recourse to the consequence of that action.

Faith that people who do not know me, yet with whom i interact might actually see more than their preconceptions. As result of this lack of faith in others.. hope is lessened. you follow that to its logical conclusion and you end up at a point where you believe nothing you do will effect the outcome. So you don't bother.

It's erroneous logic of course...i'm sure Spock would concur,

But then the whole point here is that emotion isn't logical is it? And escape from this point requires everything that is lacking currently.

So, logically, I'm gonna try phase 1 of the kick my own ass program, "sleep". Since my heads a bag of spaghetti i'll give the brain every chance to re org and come back with its shit together.


laters.


Epilogue. The reboot went well. Click here to see what came of it...





Sometimes you just don't wanna think all that hard..

Hi,

Today has been a day off.

Ok, I aint exactly got a ton of "work" knocking down my door here, but it has been a genuine day off. A rest: from thinking too hard.

At first I mistook it for apathy, but although I'm fed up with my situation I don't really think this is one of those depressive mood swings that occasionally hang around me.

I just didn't really want to engage in anything more complex than going to get fuel and groceries, and tbh even that was a chore. After which I came home and bought series 3 of star wars rebels on iTunes. Well, as its easter and as the alternative of chocolate eggs make one fat I thought i'd treat myself.

I suspect tomorrow might be much of the same. I've got the parts for Jonny five's seat post coming, philosophy stuff to read from both Nigel Warburton and John Corivino, and probably some trans centric arguments to have all in the coming week. Although I did put in a job application late in the evening. So we will see how long it take for that one to be rejected.

I am aware of growing sense of unease however. I am in danger of becoming a hermit. I fear re gaining that which was taken from me, since then I would once more have something to loose.

It's why job applications look so damned dull, dismal and dire. What I once called success I now view as the bars of a cage, slavishly working away at something so you can afford to do something else when not slaving.

The contradiction in wanting to willingly climb back into the cage, but make sure the door is ajar, or that I at least have a key is not lost on me.

Tbh I find the irony slightly amusing, or I would perhaps, were it not for the consequence of that irony. Which if not dealt with soon may grow more and more problematic.

Belief, persistence and optimism are all wonderful traits. but if one looses faith, then thats much bigger problem.

let us hope that mine is just temporarily misplaced then..,..

Sarah

Friday 14 April 2017

23:06


2306

Night closes in, softly, smothering day's test 
Descending as a blanket ow'er those who'd rest.  
The quiet hum of computer, glow from lamp and screen,
are faint reminders of the days efforts, what was said, or seen. 

Tis time to turn off the screen, to silence the hum. 
For now at least the days test is done. 

Sleep I now seek, and some peace of mind.
To leave the days cares and worries behind. 

Tomorrow dawn's soon, in a mere few hours,
So I'll find what rest resides in my powers. 

And when springs sun rises, cold, crisp and fair, 
 bringing anew another days test, 
I will be willing, if able of care, 
To stand with greeting...
"Thank you kind Sir, I shall do what I dare...."

With apologies to poet everywhere... 

I didn't really wanna write this but then....

Hi,

I really was in two minds as to whether to write something on this topic, since it's rather revealing and quite a personal statement.

Yet I felt compelled to do so for two reasons.

1) If I acquiesced to fear and social stigma as a blogger and shied away from some some topics I'd inevitably have to look at the ethics of that choice. That examination would I feel be unfavourable.

2) Keeping quiet doesn't help others in this situation, which is the whole point of the blog, so....

Loneliness. 

What does that word conjure up in the mind when you hear it?

Isolation? perhaps. fear? maybe. Sadness?. That depends I suppose.

You may well ask what started this train of thought? Well I woke up this morning from a dream that had left me with a sense of acceptance and belonging. Theres not much point recounting it, save to say it's obvious my brain was unpacking a whole bunch of stuff, and throwing it at me in the form of these regurgitated dream memories.

But as ever it's sometimes what one would like rather than what happened. So to cut to the point here, I woke up with a dawning realisation that these memories weren't actually true, my situation was as it was before and tbh that was a bit of a let down.

The inevitable outcome of that was the inherent loneliness of my situation hit home.

So aside from the fact that you now all know I'm a fruit loop, chatting about dreams and stuff, where does this put me, and why write about it?

Well because the feelings and thoughts in question revolve around being understood, accepted and finding that one person (or if you're into the poly thing a few) who "gets" all your weird, wonderfulness, and you theirs.

It is impossible to do as much introspection and thought swimming as I do without realising the potential contradictions of my situation as a trans person. The likelihood that for a whole host of complex reasons of interplay between society and individual, I may find such acceptance on that level difficult to find.

When society gives you constant, repetative messages that you don't fit the majority narrative, some of those messages will inevitable hit home. No amount of philosophical armour can stop every arrow. I imagine this is much like the slow dawning realisation for LGB people who are realising their own minds. They acknowledge a difference and thus the rules change & things, at least initially, seem ... more challenging.

It has been said that a "second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience". Of course this is a tongue in cheek cliche, but on a certain level its true. Perhaps though it is a triumph of the choice to believe in people over the knowledge gained from experience of (some of) them.

The Human social animal.

There's a contradiction here. Validation from external sources isn't all that healthy a premise. One needs to be sure of the relationship to ones self and be able seek internal validation. After all that's a core tenant of all mental health doctrine. Yet sometimes the balance is too far in one direction or the other.  To acknowledge and take ownership of the simple fact that one is lonely allows consideration of what to do about it.

Of course there's the rub. Friends are great, colleagues and shared interest's are awesome, having stuff to do and people to do it with is fantastic. So is having the resources to take advantage of those opportunities when they are offered.

But as for finding that wonderfully weird connection with a fellow human being who becomes all and more than any of those things...well ...

That's bit trickier.

But "tricky" does not mean impossible, nor even improbable. It just requires more focus, effort and attention, and a bit of "extra" faith in the nature of humans.

So, as I make my third cuppa of the morning and return to 4 hours of critical role, I remain stubbornly optimistic that one day life might just surprise me outta left field.

Maybe.

Wednesday 12 April 2017

Sex, Gender and Logic part 2

Part two..

In part one we looked at Sex and Gender as categories and what attributes are required for inclusion in each.

Part one

So following on from that:

How humans are sexed. 

If any of you reading this have kids, you'll know that feeling of anticipation and wonder as you wait to find out if you're going to have a son or a daughter. We can check now via ultrasound in utero to see what anatomy is present and of course at birth there are outwardly visible differences between the "male" and "female" categories as were described in part one.

So, basically just as we did thousands of years ago, we look at our offspring with our eyes and go, hmm, penis = male, therefore boy or vagina = female, therefore girl. Ok all is good with the world. 

But wait juuuust minute.....

In her study back in 2002 Fausto-sterling asserts that 1.7% of human births are what we would call "intersex". That is having genitalia that are indeterminate, not of one sex or perhaps even indicative of both.  This presents a problem at the very start, because it messes our categorical system. If we can't "sex" a new born human, how do we relate to that person? 

However that aside, this study was utilising a comparison between phenotypic sex (anatomical structure and actions) and chromosomal sex. Additionally this figure was decided to be too high since it included those who didn't quite fit the required criteria which was in itself rather broad. So where are we currently on the level of incidence of "intersex" births? The intersex society of North America states that 1 in 1,666 births are not xx/xy and that the number of births that anatomically differ from male and female is 1 in 100. 

The XX/XY myth.

Bet you thought I'd miss this one out eh? 

Darwins "origin of species" in 1859 produced a race. A race to prove Darwin's theories through cellular evidence. A german cytologist found an X element in the sperm of a wasp in 1891, and between 1903 and 1906 Nettie Stevens studied this X and found it had a small Y hidden next to it. In 1906 Edmund Wilson independently confirms the existence of the Y and also coined the phrase "sex chromosome". 

Around this time it was understood that inheritability and genetics usually required the interplay between multiple chromosomal factors, bits of a chromosome controlling multiple things. Thus a single chromosome could have effects in multiple areas. Wilson however was insistent that this X was entirely responsible for maleness, and thus sex, since 2 of them resulted in male and 1 female. Nettie Stevens disagreed, citing that something on the X was probably involved in sex, since the known evidence of studies suggested other chromosomes act on multiple traits and that logically the x and y should function in this same way. 

Wilson's view eventually won out in 1920, perhaps because Stevens died in 1912. There was however strong objection to the idea of a sex chromosome even at this point. Thomas montgomery of the university of philadelphia wrote that the theory was "absurdly simplistic" and and an "over extension of the chromosome theory of hereditary". Thomas hunt Morgan decried it for "inventing a special element that has the power of turning maleness into femaleness"

There were other holes in the premise of a sex chromosome, but for a better narrative than I can give here I'd suggest reading this article by Claire Ainsworth. A brief summary of the somewhat complex article would be to suggest that Stevens was closer to the truth. Bits of the x and the y play a part in the determination of sex, but are not in and of themselves the whole story. Thus we now know people with xx/xy/xxy or derivations thereof that will develop along male or female lines according to the hormonal and genetic triggers present in utero. 

So that then busts the intersex comparisons ? Well yes, in so far as comparing phenotypical sex to the XX/XY dichotomy. But it also paradoxically it gives us a reason for intersex in the first place since it highlights that the mechanisms inherent in determining the "sex" of a person are a much more complex beast than Wilson's simple initial categorisation might suggest. 

Soo.. were does this get us? 

Logically we have to revisit the category of "sex" and I would suggest add in some things that were missing from the initial list. 

I'd add in:

Development, in utero environment and chromosomal "activity" rather than 'structure", and lastly the brain.

Why the brain? Because from what we now know of other internal physiological and endocrine (hormonal) influences the brain is very much effected by these mechanisms as described in utero, just as the other organs are. To assume it must be left out is tantamount to repeating the mistake of Wilson and creating an erroneous assumption. There is considerable and growing evidence to support the theory that trans people could be thought of and thus "categorised" as intersex in relation to their brains, and that the interplay between a multitude of developmental combinations gives rise to many more than 2 possible outcomes. 

Furthermore as a result of the above, there is now significant evidence to suggest that "male" and 'female" should actually be joined by "intersex". Not in the realm of being viewed as a defect in "normal" development, but as a less common though still possible outcome of the normal gestational process that is as yet not fully understood at a cellular level. 

After all, intersex research cited in the article by Claire Ainsworth was completed in 2011, and the article itself in 2015. To use our 24 hour analogy from before regarding human civilisation, that's just over 7 minutes of research. Obviously we have barely scratched the surface here. 

So lets revisit our original premise, the youtube question or statement in part one that asserts that Trans philosophy of GI and LGB philosophy are mutually exclusive:

If you are for gay rights, then you accept the concept of sexual orientation. But sexual orientation presupposes an genital basis to manhood and womanhood. This directly contradicts the premise of gender identity, Therefore, the very concept of sexual orientation is homophobic. 

If you support trans rights, the you accept the concept of gender identity. That concept locates the basis for manhood and womanhood (or whatever) in the mind, making the body irrelevant to ones identity asa man or a woman (or whatever) This just makes complete nonsense out of the concept of sexual orientation and thereby erases the identities of Gays and lesbians. Thus support for the transgender community entails homophobia

So the statement cites sexual orientation:
     
It's the statement "Sexual orientation presupposes a genital basis to manhood and woman hood" that is problematic and TBH at first its not easy to see what is actually wrong here.

What is sexual orientation? What does being gay or lesbian or bi mean? I'm going to fall back on a suggestion by Dr Corivino here and say probably a lot more than the gentialia of the person you might fancy. Theres personality, behaviour, SOH, hair colour skin type, age range, interests, music etc etc, so on the face of it the "exclusive" genitalia argument a reductive premise. But it is fair to say that genitalia play a part in that over all conversation. Though i'd argue that would be to some extent as an effect of being attracted to "men" or "women" not a cause, and usual case scenario's with regard to anatomy in each case. 

What do I mean by that? Well if you're a gay man, then presumably you are going to be attracted to other men. That attraction on first meeting does not initially depend on whether the person does or does not have a penis. (as per a trans man for example) Similarly a lesbian, or bisexual woman may fall for a trans woman, who may or may not have had surgery, but I doubt that's their first topic of conversation.

Sure once a person finds out that a given individual may have a body that doesn't work for them, that may be grounds on which to reassess the situation or it may not. Is that trans phobic? No, because people like what they like. It's hardly fair for a trans person to stipulate what another person should or should not find sexually appealing. Is it potentially awkward? hell yeah. A rejection at this point based on anatomy is going to hurt, one party feels let down and the other unloved for who they are. But diversity by its very nature has to embrace that these situations are not a one size fits all.

I would suggest the first premise is based in the stipulation that if a gay man falls for a trans man, then they are not 'really gay" which extrapolates to "because they (the trans man) are not a real guy" Which leads to "real guys have a penis" and the result: "wow that's trans phobic"

Does that make sexual orientation transphobic. Of course it doesn't, since sexual orientation is a category like all the rest, and thus the borders and frames of reference exist in isolation to those who live within them. Sexual orientation is a concept, like the all others discussed in this article and in part one.

What the statement actually suggests is that the author has a prescriptive view of a genital basis to manhood and womanhood. we could re write it as: I presuppose a genital basis to manhood and woman hood and therefore orientations as result. It does not follow from that view that all discussion of sexual orientation would subscribe to that same view.

What of the second statement? Gender Identity as a concept and a basis for man and womanhood is again part of the argument, but not it's entirety. As we have seen from the exploration of the questions "what is sex" and "what is gender" there is significant suggestive evidence to include the brain in the developmental process that leads to a "male" or female" or "intersex" person, and therefore some inclusion of trans in that premise. Thus "The brain" which may be responsible for our "gender identity" is a physical anatomical structure. 

This serves to rebut the statement: 

That concept locates the basis for manhood and womanhood (or whatever) in the mind, making the body irrelevant to ones identity asa man or a woman (or whatever)

The brain is part of both the body and the mind*, thus is subject to the same developmental influences as all our other anatomical structures. We return therefore to where we began, an anatomical discussion of the causative biological factors of "sex" and "gender" as intrinsically linked, but still different. 

*(this of course depend on your view of the  dualist and  physicalist arguments of mind and body, something i'll be delving into in my basics of philosophy series a little later on) 

So based on this, is GI theory homophobic?. No. Since knowing that there is more than two sexes and thus more than two genders, and that the causes likely reside in a combination of genitals, gonads and brain development does not preclude two people of the same sex or the same gender having a relationship.

Of course, if you choose to define "manhood" and "womanhood" by genitalia and hitch concepts to your own definition...... thats perhaps a little different don't you think?

;-)

To sum up what has been quite a wordy pair of blogs, It would seem we humans are even now only just getting to grips with the modern versions of Anaxagoras' "seeds" as they might pertain to "sex" and "gender". After something of a false start thanks to the erroneous conclusions of Wilson that took hold in the early 20th century we are playing catch up. We now know at least that we "don't know", and as result can start reframing questions and categories.

I wonder in 3000 yrs time, will the humans that exist then look back at us and wonder at the language we use to describe things that they then understand in so much depth. Will our chromosomes and other descriptors seem to them like Anaxagoras seeds? It is an intriguing thought is it not?


-------------------------------



After all, back in 2005 Pluto was still a planet.
Sarah 

Sex and Gender and Logic. Part 1

Hi,

Sex, Gender and logic walk into a bar:

Sex says, "gimme some of that biological looking stuff, I like that,"
Gender says: I'll have whatever I like the look of, I never read the labels on the bottles any way.
Logic says: oh you Guys... you're both concepts of categorical thinking you can't walk into pubs let alone order stuff...



Todays subject is Sex, Gender and Logic. The relationship between these is continually revisited time and again in respect to the trans or non binary arguments, their respective cause and thus validity.

Here's a comment I found on a youtube in reply to a video by Dr Corivino:

If you are for gay rights, then you accept the concept of sexual orientation. But sexual orientation presupposes a genital basis to manhood and womanhood. This directly contradicts the central premise of gender identity. Therefore, the very concept of sexual orientation is transphobic.

f you support trans rights, then you accept the concept of gender identity. That concept locates the basis for manhood and womanhood (and whatever) in the mind, making the body irrelevant to one's identity as a man or a woman (or whatever). This just makes complete nonsense out of the concept of sexual orientation and thereby erases the identities of Gays and Lesbians. Thus, support for the transgender community entails homophobia.

I'll link the actually video at the bottom of this article since its worth a listen in its own right.

But, having read this comment I realised that if I was going to talk and write about trans issues, gender and the arguments around the societal acceptance of those phenomenon, I perhaps needed to explore the validity of this core contradiction

Firstly, as I usually do, I want to quickly take a journey back to ancient greek times... a pre socratic thinker called Anaxagoras. He watched how the food that we and other animals eat becomes part of our bodies. He watched how children and young animals grow as a result. He therefore theorised that the food must already have tiny bits of bone, muscle, hair etc in it, on an infinitesimally small scale. These he called "Seeds".

Today we know these as "molecules" or "atoms", the building blocks of "matter". Anaxagoras was correct, but limited by the technology and language of his time. There are perhaps some parallels here with the sex and gender argument(s) when one poses the question "what is"?

"What is sex?"
"What is gender"

Let take the first question:

"What is sex?"

Well the term "Sex" can mean many things. It is both a noun and verb for example. In this case lets leave the "doing" use of the term sex to one side and focus on the use of the word as a noun, ala a descriptor of something ...

It fair to say a widely accepted view of the word is that Sex is a term that can be used to categorise things that are alike, similar or dissimilar.  A descriptor if you will. So if we accept this premise, what is the term "Sex" used to describe? What physical observations do we need to make in order to decide if a thing belongs in the category of "sex" or not? And what do we mean by someone having "A sex"?

Physically speaking, there's anatomy. The presence or absence of a Penis, vagina, uterus, fallopian tubes, breast tissue,  testes, ovaries, vas deferens, prostate etc. Some of these structures were described in ancient times, they're relatively easy to explore scientifically and can be seen with the naked eye, so they are long established and known objects.

Then theres the more modern cellular arguments, only recently possible in human history, Things like DNA, chromosomal structure, etc. To put our physical understanding of these later categorical factors into a sort of timeline and perspective, consider that humans have been around on the earth for about 200,00 years. Civilisation 6,000. Industrialisation, 200yrs. 

Chromosomes were first observed in plant cells by Swiss botanist Karl Wilhelm von Nägeli in 1842. In 1905 the first chromosomal work was done on the XX/XY theory of sexual development, continuing up until around 1923 with the emergence of the "sex chromosomal pairing". Watson and Crick discovered the double helix of DNA in 1953, just 64 years ago. Chromosomal pairs (23) were identified in Lund in Sweden in 1955, for the previous 30years it had been thought to be 24, 48. 

So in percentage terms, if we take human civilisation and thus history as 6,000 years old, we have really been exploring the minute detail of our existence for approximately 2% of our known time here. Or to put it another way, if the 6,000 yrs were one 24 hour period, the entire scientific knowledge described above would take just short of the last 29 minutes before midnight.

Food for thought eh? But what of the subdivisions of sex? And the mechanisms by which someone is said to have "a sex"? They have been around along time...where did they come from ?

Sex as a word is derived from the latin term, sexus, historically encompassing two other categories "male" and  "female" So where did these sub categories arise from?  

Female comes from Latin femella (compare feminine) and is not related to male which comes from Latin masculus (whence masculine, macho). The terms being derived from latin dates them pretty emphatically long before the newer scientific stuff. So, the concept of male and female based on broad anatomical observations possible with the naked eye was very much accepted long before the discovery of chromosomal pairs in 1905 and was reinforced by early scientific works on anatomical structure etc. 

So then, "Sex" in this sense can be defined as a categorical term, which encompasses two major subdivisions, "male" and "female". This being based on our understanding of ancient observations of the gross anatomical structure of humans coupled with more recent ones regarding the composition and drivers of our cellular physiology.

(If you're thinking at this point hang on, thats very binary and old school bear with me... all will be well...)

So much for sex, now what about the other question? gender?

"What is gender"

In a similar way to the discussion regarding sex, gender is a categorical grouping used to describe beings that are similar or different. However it refers in this instance to observational differences in a societal and cultural sense. It's a term that is in some sense very new, since it was first coined in relation to gender roles by John Money in 1955, around the same time Watson and Crick were doing their double helix thing. However the word itself has been around since long before this point and is derived from the latin meaning birth, family or nation. Thus one can suggest it's original meaning probably owes more to similarities rather than differences.

Usually the starting point for the development of these similarities/differences arises from the observed individual "belonging" to one of the categories of the "sex" groupings that we have already discussed. 

So what sort of things are included in the descriptive category of gender? Here's a few, I'm sure you can perhaps think of more:

Attire, mannerisms, conduct, profession, expectations, height, attractiveness, use of make up, prestige, social grouping, physicality and sex. 

Much like "Sex" it has been subdivided into two categories that are known as "man" and "woman" Interestingly "man" in the historical context was a neutral term simply meaning "human" up until the early 20th century where it came be used to define the male of the specifies. Woman similarly has it's roots in older language and has at times been synonomous with "wife" a fact I'm sure a few feminists would raise an eye brow at today. 

So, The two categories "Sex", and "Gender" are different, but also arguably quite closely linked  since it is fair to suggest that the one is at least in part the cause of inclusion in the other. It would seem to be true that before we begin to assign a person a place in the category of gender, the convention has been to first determine an individuals place in the category of sex. 

This leads us rather neatly into a discussion of "why" and "how" we place certain individuals in each group and something of a cause and effect argument. 

Since this blog is now getting incredibly long I'm going to split it into two parts, The cause and effect argument as to why people are assigned to either category being part 2 

Heres the video I promised...(sorry no t shirts) 




Sarah 
;-)