Created as a spin off of the older Spoken Sprocket Cycling blogs that I've written, Stubbornly Optimistic is all about life, philosophy and positivity in the face of our everyday challenges. The intent is to kindle thought, discussion and exploration of ideas through my own musings and those of yourselves, the readers. Have any feedback? hit the twitter link and let me know!
It is a sunny Thursday afternoon in the shire a little before 2:30. There is literally not a cloud in the sky, and the sun is streaming though the windows of my hobbit hole as a gentle breeze stirs the hedges in the garden.
Some days it pays to be still. To watch the wind and listen to the grass. There are many things I could do, and I'm sure many more that I perhaps should.
But for now they can all wait.
I've become very aware that the space I inhabit is increasingly virtual these days, be that online or just in the furtherest reaches of my own head. My world has shrunk almost beyond measure from it's previous expansive proportions. Although since the mind is essentially limitless the irony of that paradox is not entirely lost on me.
All the inherent leisure like distractions in modern life err towards artificiality, whether that be via games, films, videos, or other online stuff, the one common thread is that they all promote a situation wherein one removes one's self from the reality of the present and projects into, or onto something else.
But on occasion I don't feel entirely inclined to that escapism: sure, we all feel the benefits from time to time and who doesn't like watching a well worn story or "blowing shit up" every now and then. Years back when Sony brought out the playstation (The first time) and gran tourisimo was orginally released, I clocked up a staggering amount of hours on that console, and completed all the tracks, the 100 lap races, all of it. I probably (still) know the laguna seca track as well and anyone who has "actually" been there.
However none of that time on the playstation actually achieved anything. So it is perhaps with the online and virtual worlds of today. A whole heap of data, just sitting, waiting to be discovered under that blinking cursor, or search button. But does any of it actually achieve anything?
No.
Any achievement comes from what is done with any given data, and the actions that result. Of course if one mis interprets that data those actions may well be .... questionable, which is why we humans sometimes get it wrong.
But thats ok. Getting things wrong is just a stepping stone to getting them right.
But every now and then the system needs a reboot, a pause, and time to listen to the wind whilst watching the grass.
So today I feel like spending some time "with me" as it were. In the present, being present. Here. Now.
So, The last 7 days has seen the "unthinkable". Genuine, openly National Socialist and white supremacist marches on the streets of America.
It has left a young woman dead. Heather Heyer. One of 20 people hit by a person who thought it wise to drive a car into a group of protestors because he felt his rights were threatened. Heather was 32, and exercising her own right to protest. That decision cost her far too much.
Over the last 206 days since Donald Trump took office there has a been a insidious creep in the kind of separatist, "blame all our ills on others" talk that the world has seen on a number of occasions throughout human history.
Whether that be a north Korean dictator, LGBT people, blacks, hispanics "immigrants, or whoever else comes to the mind of 45 at the time, it seems there is always someone to point the finger at.
In recent years much of the worlds human right abuses have been in what we like to call the developing world, or places that have vastly different moral codes to our own western "enlightened view" Yet here we are in 2017, 99 years on from the end of the "great war" & we seem determined to walk a path towards yet more conflict. One that seemingly will originate not in a small unknown country but in the very heart of our own western society.
Those of you who know your history will know it was an assassination, that of the arch duke Franz Ferdinand, that sparked the conflict a century ago. Yet what kept it going over four bloody, grief stricken years were the allegiances and divisions, nationalism and some measure of imperialist doctrine. It is these sentiments that we now see coming to the fore.
Led by a mouthpiece who has an indefinable hold over a large number of people, with an agenda that is only partially exposed to the harsh light of publicity, the 45th president of the USA is systematically undoing that which - publicly at least - put him there in the first place.
Democracy, freedom and the simple premise that all humans are equal.
Truthfully at his inaugural speech I had grave concerns over the language used. I wrote about it back then in January . Twice.
Jumping forward in history - if you'll forgive the contradiction in terms - to a situation that arose from the ashes of the great war, I am reminded of a speech by the then UK Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain. 1938 "peace in our time...."
The single biggest danger that Trump now represents is not "who he is" but "where" By which I mean he is placed within a tolerant and forgiving "civilised" society that will seek to make reparation and to "work with" rather than "oppose"
Sadly 1938 showed us that this approach has some flaws. The rise in openly separatist and nazi rhetoric is testament to the influence that trump has. Perhaps in time we may see this as a knee jerk reaction to the 44th present and the fact that along with a myriad other qualification and qualities the man happened to have darker skin than his predecessors. Whatever the driving force, this is not an over night problem.
45 is the now visible symptom of a festering sore that has failed to heal in American society. This situation is the manifestation of years of covert under ground malice. Sleeping, waiting for that chance to rise again, when the world just starts to get comfy and thus averts its gaze long enough to allow the infection to spread.
Trump is perhaps a sacrificial lamb. The man himself is too great a buffoon to have any real power willingly vested in him by those who do have an agenda. He has little real skill, save one. He can control or at least incite the mob, as a self publicist and narcissistic showman, and THAT is his greatest asset. and should be our greatest fear.
For once that mob starts to move, and I believe we are seeing the slow gatherings of speed, events will spiral. 45 has been invested with an authority he deserves less than he understands. So when events begin to spin out of his control as they inevitable will, those who could manage the situation will be left powerless by virtue of the office of the President of the USA being held by someone with none of the required skills. Some might even say that 45 lacks will to calm the coming storm, since it is he who brought it forth.
It could be said that the democratically elected ruler of Germany in 1932/3 was the ruin of both his country and it's reputation for generations thereafter.
Donald Trump may yet prove to have a similar destiny and place in history. One can hope not of course, but if it is to be so, then the question is: how much of the rest of the world will the US take down during its own implosion?
Anglo german relation were important in 1938. In 2017, are the US/UK relations any less so? The most powerful nation on our planet is - currently at least - the greatest threat to humanity.
If you're not worried by that, then I suggest you take a closer look.
So it has been a while since I sat at my desk with an intention to write my thoughts. So much is going on, personally, professionally, politically that I've felt just little overwhelmed.
Political.
Over the pond in America the trans gender issues continue to be a cause for concern. Seemingly my predictions of a theocratic underlaying doctrine are bearing fruit. The military personnel angle is one that carries some weight with me, since I am an ex military individual, albeit in the UK armed forces - not US.
The manner of my leaving the forces was painful, and left lasting scars born of the of betrayal, resulting in an inability to trust that still plagues me to this day.
Back in 2010 when the ink was barely dry on the new drafting of the equalities act I went from a "successful" individual to a "broken" one in the eyes of the army very very quickly. Their treatment of me as a result was shoddy to say the least, but that story is one I will leave for another time.
Since then, almost a decade has passed. It's been decade of lessons, some harder and more painful than others. It's been a necessary "transition" (see what I did there?) from where I was to where I needed to be.
One can never go back of course, but as T.S Elliot said, "the result of exploration is to arrive where we began and know it for the first time". Coming back home and reconnecting with myself, re discovering that person I was before all the labels, and titles, was a necessary thing, and as a certain Vulcan once said, "what is necessary is never unwise".
I'll write more about the situation in America, and it's insidious knock on effects on the political scene in the UK, with something of a discussion piece in a few days.
So much of the political, what of the other two P's in my list?
Professionally there been alot of activity which is the main reason I haven't written in here. SnS has a new workshop that's slowly taking shape. It's planned to re launch a smaller revamped bespoke bike service & wheel building consultancy in the fall.
In a few weeks I start my first year of teacher training. In a few months I can apply to return to practice as a nurse. So perhaps some form of closure is approaching that may allow me to heal the wounds of my past and move on to whatever is to come.
My Youtube channels have been similarly neglected, but there are some exciting developments in the wind regarding a couple of podcast ideas.
The workshop build video is still a work in progress and once it's done I'll post a link in here..so you can actually see what I've been up to.
Allied with the bikes I of course need to bring in some coin whilst doing both teacher training and nursing. That's where the assessor side drop in. So assessing vocational work and fixing bikes whilst doing my two profesional courses and keeping up with CMI stuff should keep me pretty occupied for the coming months.
"The plan" is shaping up nicely. Lets see if it survives first contact with reality.
And we come to the final P. The personal stuff.
When I write these articles or blogs, it's part update for those who follow me, and part cathartic process for my head. Since I aint Dumbledore and don't have a pensieve, I pour my thoughts onto the page and upload it to the web, to hang there just like a mental map of a moment in life.
The head has been quite full of late. Life threw me a curve ball I wasn't expecting and was not really prepared for. Life does that sometimes, when quite out the blue "your whole wide world in a moment, comes undone"
Whilst I didn't drop the ball per see, I certainly got winded making the catch. Can I run all the way up the field for a touch down? Who knows?
I wasn't ready. I wasn't even on the field. But if one waits until one feels ready, then the opportune moment is often past, and "could have" becomes "should have"
At the point where life surprises you, one has to decide which of two outcomes one wishes to live with. Either the consequences of the action we take, or the regret for the fact we didn't take it, through fear of it being the wrong choice.
So now the consequences are unfolding. So I guess I'll just have to learn to "trust" that things will work out.
