Back in the training Zone...

Hey,

Those that follow my other bloggings will know I'm into bike riding, a bit of running and am what people might call a lapsed fitness nut with middle aged spread.

For a variety of reasons I didn't train from Sept last year through till the beginnings of last week, save from a brief running spell at the start of this year.

This period of idleness resulted in significant weight gain, but also coincided with some developments regarding my medical transition...

So here's a subjective view from the inside of my head of what its like to train "with" and "with out" testosterone...

Training, tenacity and Other T's 

Ok, so throughout my first 40 odd years wherever I got into the physical training habit my biochemistry was that of the "typical" male. Testosterone as I'm sure you're all aware does a number of things, and is responsible for both bone density, & muscle mass, as well as the reproductive stuff.

Roughly 12 weeks ago I started on a inhibitor that essentially prevents my body from producing testosterone and recent blood tests indicate that my circulating T levels are equivalent to that of a natal female. (i.e. not a lot and considerably less than a male) This is in conjunction with a graduated introduction of Oestrogen, which has been on going almost a year, since to leave the body with neither of these hormones would be a "bad" thing..

Oddly, I've always experienced ups and downs in my motivation to train, simply because I like to be  fit and healthy but in the past I've always reached a point where my body image and physicality didn't match up..Dysphoria wreaking havoc with the results of the training and motivation dropping to zero. Thus throughout my life training has always been an episodic activity.

This means I know what its like to train having "gained weight", and been "fitter" in the past, I know how my body "usually" responds, fatigue levels etc

So what of now?

Well first off the main thing I'm noticing is a distinctly higher level of exertion for lower output. Notable changes being "light headedness" on resting at a level of work that previously wouldn't elicit this response. Perhaps this is a result of a reduction in testosterone and therefore its influence on the mechanisms of red blood cell production, and thus my bodies ability to carry oxygen to my tissues.

Of course we can't be sure without scientific testing, and this is purely subjective, but it's interesting none the less.

Out right power on the bike isn't really different yet.. that won't be noticeable until I retain my former levels of form and fitness. A peak power average for me was 220Watts, which aint exactly pro TdF level's but I'm currently sitting in 160 ranges which is on par with previous efforts at this fitness level.

Recovery: This is an odd one. I'm doing quite alot quite quickly. From being very sedentary to running every other day and one bike ride a week. I'm definitely tired, but "more" tired? Hard to say.

However here's where "motivation" raises its head. For the first time in my life the changes I'm seeing in the mirror and the "effects" of the training are not playing against my motivation but rather adding to it.

I'm no longer fighting ageing, or my own biochemistry.. and it's kinda cool. It means that I can just get on with the business of being healthy, and enjoy the runs without worrying about the times...which btw I used to do religiously.. (old army habit) or feeling that i'm not fast enough, or doing sufficient to stay slim enough blah blah blah.

Obviously this is all subjective and pretty much an initial thoughts kinda deal.. I've no definitives here, just idea's, musing and wonderings. Body positivity is a whole subject in and of itself. When I started riding bikes and running in my teen's & 20's it wasn't for anything other than "because it was fun" and because I liked the endorphin buzz. I ran because I liked it. I cycled because I liked it.

Then of course some stupid bugger decided it was a good idea to join HM forces and "fitness" became "work" with all those connotations.

It does go to show however that dysphoria and the resultant complications of living with it, can have  far reaching consequences into other areas of life that one might otherwise not expect.

As that "baggage" diminishes I am beginning to feel free-er than I ever have in years, un encumbered by the weight of this "disruptive mismatch"

Now, I i'm just "doing" stuff..

And that surely, can only be good thing.

Sarah