I had a conversation today with a friend who is in a support group online. Actually we both are but that's kinda the point.
It raised an interesting question. "Laughter and having a bit of a giggle" .. in this case my posting of a link online that I thought was a giggle and that others in the group might like but had nowt to do with trans "stuff"
Here's the link in question.. since it remains as funny as ever if you're a geeky science nerd... and fan of the MCU..
So what you might ask? My friend suggested this was in their view diluting the groups ethos and main focus of being a trans-specific support network. It's not unusual for many "support" groups to do something akin to this in terms of non specific social interactions, things like games nights or similar.
But does it detract from the serious business of the support as it is required.?
In my view as long as theres a healthy balance then no, but its fair to say one does have to keep a balance between core mission and the other stuff. Consider that in many cases I've seen chronic condition sufferers end up defining their life solely by their condition, and thus they let the other stuff, hobbies and interests, things that define them as people slide a bit.
"Support groups", and the medical profession in general are invested in a continued need of their service provision, and its certainly the case that both have on occasion forgotten to address the person and focused on the condition only. Now of course its not a complete analogy with a sales model but you get the idea: supply of people needing help keeps support groups in business, and the wards full of ill people.
But here is where people who suggest that "fun stuff" detracts from the core ethos, and thus harms the group often get the cause and effect reversed. Support groups exist because the people need them. much like wards. And their primary aim should not be "their existence" but their members recovery. Indeed the medical profession has long recognised that "mental health" is a great factor in recovery of even specifically physiological procedures .. hip replacements and anything requiring post op physiotherapy is a great example. Attitude and approach are a patient's best weapons in the fight back to health.
And thus it is with support groups and other things. Individuals will "recover", as per their own journey & thus their use of support may diminish, but someone else will always be in need somewhere because theres a heck of a lot more demand than supply. For every person who may be put off by a non specific activity, there may also be one who likes it and kinda gets that holistic nature of viewing people as whole beings, not just a condition or need to be met. If one takes the thought process too far down a medical analogy route, one gets to a the question of autonomy and because invaluably support groups rely heavily on self referral this is self limiting. People choose whether or not to engage, and the wisdom of that choice is a reflection of their own self awareness.
It's much the same argument as the old "work - life balance" equation... It's an easy mistake to define yourself (or others) by what you/they do, or in this case have or need.... and to forget that you are much much more than the sum of your problems or challenges. It's a mistake I spent years living.
Anyhow..that's my ten pence worth... For my part I've just gotten my lazy ass back into training after wallowing in my head for far to long over winter. Is that a "permanent recovery?" who knows?
But just for today.. I'm OK.
Tomorrow? I'll go for a run... and leave the rest to providence.
But I'm sure there will be a few laughs along the way.
So....
Do you belong to your problems, or are they yours to command?
Decide... and make it happen.
laters people
xSarahx
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