The "OOO" tree.

Hi,

Recently my work is taking me into a space that is truly between the ears. As the podcast audience, readers of this blog and my website will know I examine the "things that make people tick" and to some degree help them keep time with the world.

This has taken me toward the works of Erving Goffman and Anthony Giddens. Sociological analogies of performance and narrative in creating the internal (and projecting the external) views of self.

But I've been compelled to jot down these few Scribbles not because of that, but something slightly different.

It's odd how one can find oneself at times almost inexplicably drawn to certain people. Perhaps this is mere illusion born of the retrospective lens, but it does seem when I sit back and consider where this journey of self discovery has taken me, and the questions it has posited, that life has somehow managed to ensure that those with answers to those questions cross my path.

Perhaps this supposed coincidence is an act of wilful creation, since often one only "see's" what one is looking for, but I am not entirely convinced by that argument since one can look and still never find.

It is tempting at times like these to look for a theological answer... people point to "God" working in mysterious ways" or "ancestors having put in a good word with the big guy" etc.

Perhaps, But I prefer a more secular thought path. I recently coined the term "Optimisticality" to explain what it is that I "do". Optimisticality, I would say is "The art of being stubbornly optimistic"
Of seeing the oak inside the acorn.

But it is more than that. There are, at time of writing three "O" s that are central to my philosophy of optimisticality.

Optimism?
Sure... that's there. In the roots. Without planting yourself in the soil of "possible" you won't grow. .

Optimisation.
The trunk. The process and routines by which we build resilience and strength, raising the branches out to a height and spread where they can reach...

Opportunities.
Which will present themselves regardless of whether your branches reach or not.

So, water your tree (or acorn) regularly with belief and curiosity, build a strong trunk. And maybe when opportunity presents itself, your branches might just reach far enough to enable you to grasp it. Allowing leaves to sprout and the tree to grow yet stronger.

If so, you'll marvel that "luck" brought you into contact with those opportunity. But really was it luck?

or something else?

Seneca the Younger

Sarah.
xx

Time, & reflection

Hi World.


Well after the week beginning on a dose of positivity, welcome to what is known as the hump of the week. Wednesday.

That's entirely coincidental of course, but this morning I woke up after having had a pretty awesome couple of days, and perhaps oddly I just wasn't feeling the love.

Why so?

It's an old habit from my years as a nurse. Reflection. During quiet times my mind wanders and I look back on significant points in life, whether recent or otherwise, and ask "could I have done that better?"

Invariably when ya get to middle age the answer is more often than not a resounding yes. After all one does not accumulate 42 years worth of experiences without having made some awesomely bad judgement calls. You'll know if you've read my other articles that I'm a fan of the writings of Plato, and the stories of Socrates.

"The unexamined life is not worth living"

The above is a quote allegedly by the latter. The inference being that one must learn from the  examination of ones own life, past present and potential future, in order to live from that point forward in a better manner than one has previously. 

Of course any reflection on any situation is both subjective and somewhat reactive. So it was today. In reflecting on the past 2 months of my life, and some significant ..... events ...... that have lead down some unexpected paths, I am brought once again to the realisation I am something of a walking contradiction. 

My somewhat detached observation of the human species and the philosophical thought process leads me to be a little misanthropic at times. Perhaps that's overly harsh, but its long been said I don't suffer fools gladly..  (I think the first time that was levelled at me as character trait I wasn't even in senior school)

Yet contrast that with the altruistic and caring nature that lead me to train in healthcare, and still to this day drives my wish to help my "fellow man", then one has quite the recipe for some internal conundrums. 

If one was also to sprinkle this odd pairing of character traits with a little burn out, some emotional shut down, social isolation plus just a pinch of vulnerabilities and insecurities - all of which are born of those experiences we are reflecting upon - then it becomes quite the heady brew at times. 

So having unpicked all of that by virtue of spending a few hours on the sofa in a mess of snot bubbles and tears (yes really) whilst staring into the inner reaches of my own head, one ultimately has to ask what now? 

Where is the lesson(s) here? After all each must find their own path, and knowing it and walking it are not the same thing. 

The first lesson would appear to be that the person who "doesn't suffer fools" has come to realise that they are one. Or at least I am as capable of being foolish as anyone else on the planet. Therefore I'm currently not my biggest fan. 

The second lesson is that self examination is not a painless endeavour...truth hurts. It hurts like hell. 

Thirdly, A realisation that I am here. I am around. Despite all my failures, faults, flippancy and faux par's over the years I am still standing. A little wiser and a little battered perhaps, but still stood. Sure I have a record of doing stupid shit, but I also have a record of recovering from it... 

".......and that is an encouraging thought"

                                            Gandalf.

So whilst today is the hump of the week, and I'm obliged to spend some time with my insecurities and fears, Thursday and Friday are approaching, and the sun continues to shine, albeit unseen behind every cloud. The lesson here is that nothing is ever permanent. Failure, like anything else, is only temporary. 

And perhaps also it serves as a reminder that "belief" is the maker of all things, for without it nothing would be viewed as possible, or even probable, and therefore every endeavour deemed pointless at the outset. My own experiences are cause for a belief that faith in myself and my abilities is well founded, since I'm not without success in life. However those same experiences are also cause to beleive that "people" are an unknown quantity at best. 

Yet "no man is an island", or if you like, there's only six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Those "unknown quantities" are the very thing one needs to put oneself in the path of in order to progress through life. 

All of which, ironically brings me back to a point that was the very reason I started these blogs many months back. Sometimes, being "stubbornly optimistic" is all you have left. But also, it's exactly what is needed.  

Just how you go about that though, well that's another matter... 

xSarahx

Stream of consciousness....random running nerdy stuff and why it's wise to be silly..

Hey Internet's..

I had a conversation today with a friend who is in a support group online. Actually we both are but that's kinda the point.

It raised an interesting question. "Laughter and having a bit of a giggle" ..  in this case my posting of a link online that I thought was a giggle and that others in the group might like but had nowt to do with trans "stuff"

Here's the link in question.. since it remains as funny as ever if you're a geeky science nerd... and fan of the MCU..

So what you might ask? My friend suggested this was in their view diluting the groups ethos and main focus of being a trans-specific support network. It's not unusual for many "support" groups to do something akin to this in terms of non specific social interactions, things like games nights or similar.

But does it detract from the serious business of the support as it is required.?

In my view as long as theres a healthy balance then no, but its fair to say one does have to keep a balance between core mission and the other stuff. Consider that in many cases I've seen chronic condition sufferers end up defining their life solely by their condition, and thus they let the other stuff, hobbies and interests, things that define them as people slide a bit.

"Support groups", and the medical profession in general are invested in a continued need of their service provision, and its certainly the case that both have on occasion forgotten to address the person and focused on the condition only. Now of course its not a complete analogy with a sales model but you get the idea: supply of people needing help keeps support groups in business, and the wards full of ill people.

But here is where people who suggest that "fun stuff" detracts from the core ethos, and thus harms the  group often get the cause and effect reversed. Support groups exist because the people need them. much like wards. And their primary aim should not be "their existence" but their members recovery. Indeed the medical profession has long recognised that "mental health" is a great factor in recovery of  even specifically physiological procedures  ..  hip replacements and anything  requiring post op physiotherapy is a great example. Attitude and approach are a patient's best weapons in the fight  back to health.

And thus it is with support groups and other things. Individuals will "recover", as per their own journey & thus their use of support may diminish, but someone else will always be in need somewhere because theres a heck of a lot more demand than supply. For every person who may be put off by a non specific activity, there may also be one who likes it and kinda gets that holistic nature of viewing people as whole beings, not just a condition or need to be met. If one takes the thought process too far down a medical analogy route, one gets to a the question of autonomy and because invaluably support groups rely heavily on self referral this is self limiting. People choose whether or not to engage, and the wisdom of that choice is a reflection of their own self awareness.

It's much the same argument as the old "work - life balance" equation... It's an easy mistake to define yourself (or others) by what you/they do, or in this case have or need.... and to forget that you are much much more than the sum of your problems or challenges. It's a mistake I spent years living.

Anyhow..that's my ten pence worth...  For my part I've just gotten my lazy ass back into training after wallowing in my head for far to long over winter. Is that a  "permanent recovery?" who knows?






But just for today.. I'm OK.

Tomorrow? I'll go for a run... and leave the rest to providence.

But I'm sure there will be a few laughs along the way.

So....

Do you belong to your problems, or are they yours to command?

Decide... and make it happen.

laters people

xSarahx

Disappointment, Loss and when Protections become Prisons.

Hi,

It's been an interesting few days. The usuals ups and downs of life, plus some unusual ones.

A friend came around the other day who works in law enforcement and they, like myself have an interest in some of the ethical conundrums of life, and how we go about defining the legalities of it.
We had great catch up and natter about all sorts of stuff and have arranged to get some bike time in soon.. we have a shared history job wise and its nice sometimes to just take in that camaraderie.

Thankfully after an extended winter hibernation I've managed to pull my head out my arse and do some physical training. which is partly the result of something I alluded to in my last blog entry.

Belief.

My friend reminded me that many people have a belief in me, although sometimes I have a hard time seeing it and sharing in it.

I write a lot about trans stuff. After all its my lived reality so I tend to experience it and thus know a fair bit about some of it. However much of the discourse, difficulty & dilemma from that bleeds over into other things & other areas of life too.

Trans people often face rejections, abuse, recriminations, judgment, etc etc.. you've heard it all before I'm sure. But not just trans people. Anyone can experience much the same for various reasons, the results of which is that they develop coping mechanisms, just like trans people. Withdrawal, suspicion, distance and public fronts, or walls. We obviously do this as a self protection to prevent further harm, be it emotional or otherwise. Some of these coping mechanisms are healthy in moderation, and some particularly if left unchecked are not.

Withdrawal was exactly what I did when I lost my job back in Sept.. it took a random occurrence to shake me from that winter reverie and kick start what is usually a much earlier process of getting out on the bike. Somewhere during that time I'd lost the belief that there was any worth in attempting to change my predicament for the better, since it appeared most major decisions in that regard were not under my direct control.

If others have faced abuse, rejection, accusation and recriminations then I suspect many will do likewise. However you spend too long withdrawn behind those walls at your own peril. The solitude becomes like a warm fuzzy comfort blanket, and a safety net all wrapped into one. It's a low risk environment, and thus feels safe.

But as anyone in business will tell you:

Low risk is low growth and if you're not growing you're effectively going backwards. 

We reach a point where those walls and barriers no longer protect us, they imprison us. They prevent us from being free to be all we can be and to give all we can give.

Like any prison, an escape requires both the will to try and the effort to succeed. The beginnings of that will reside in the belief that escape is possible, and therefore that an attempt is worth the effort.

For now it would seem with the help of others I've escaped my own self imposed prison.

Perhaps in time others will do similar, and if so, I'll be around. 

Victims? Aren't we all... Believe it if you wish.

Hi world...

This might turn into rant of sorts, as I've currently got a mixture of feelings, & emotions happening and the resultant cacophony of mental noise is raising to quite the crescendo...

Firstly ..

Life has been both cruel and kind to me. I have succeeded, had the toys, had the fun, the agency the money the "Kudos" etc...

Then it all went away.....

When you have little or nothing you're left with what matters. You.

Oddly, at this point the very thing that one needs to believe in is so often also the very thing that screwed it up in the first place. yes, you guessed it. YOU...

After a while even the most optimistic of people can get worn down by that. ... and the constant uphill battle to retake lost ground, be it personal, professional or fiscal.

Then If you're lucky something odd happens, usually when you're not looking.

For reasons unknown you realise something. That the world still believes in you. Or rather certain people in it do.

What's that I hear ya saying at the back... ? "Beware external validation, for there be monsters....?" ...yeah sure fair point, but living in a vacuum sucks.... Or should I say existing in one.

Which is kinda my point here.

This morning I found myself looking back briefly at photos of my old Skyline  .. I do it quite often and I've probably bored some of you with pictures/videos of what I used to get up to with motors and my old sports cars...but this was different.

This wasn't cos of the money, the status, (whatever the fuck that is) or anything like that, and I wasn't feeling sad, hard done by etc. If anything I realised I was fucking angry.... but just a little, and if its possible to be angry in a happy way.. then I managed it.

I realised I missed the noise of that engine... I miss the smile it put on my face. The damn thing made the hairs on your neck stand up and the grin was always a mile wide when you dropped a couple of gears and booted it..... (ported head and race pipes. Well y'know.....)

Petrol is still there in my blood... and this morning I realised I want my life back. Not because I was better off. But because it was fun and worth sharing.

So.. lets start with the career...June 2018 bring it on.

And all this because I realised that someone somewhere believes in me....So perhaps I should too.

So for any of you reading this and doubting...

Keep going .... and believe that the Impossible can turn into #I'mPossible. 

xSarahx

I was going to write it... but Jonathon Pie said it....

.....And then some

We simply must keep talking .... I videoed the piece below a week or so before the attack, and added a foreword saying  much the same thing, far less eloquently..

Perhaps "safe space" ideology needs to take something of a back seat whilst we deal with the unpalatable questions. However that does require all participants to be grown ups, and therefore responsible. Currently that rules out both the UK PM and the US child in chief. 

So, with the 8th June fast approaching, history will judge, and not on who's suit cost more, nor on whether one was born wealthy or otherwise. It will judge on negotiation ability, moral character, outcomes of ones actions and the application of the true meaning of the words:

To serve my country and its people. 

Sometimes looking the in the rear view mirror can be handy.

Hey all you internet people.

So how you all doing? I'm gonna post today's random ramblings on both my blog titles, since I can't decide which one it best fits

If ya haven't guessed it I have couple of opportunities in the offing over the coming weeks that may or may not result in a move of home.

I've been in my current house for just over 5 years. Not too long for some, but for me a life time, since the previous decade and a half saw me moving sooo many times I have lost count, with the longest period in one place being three years.

It's fair to say then that the prospect of moving after pretty much getting settled is ...well daunting.

Concurently with all this happening, I recently completed some work on my bike and rather than write reams about it I had video'd the process, vlogging the repair as I went. To do so I uploaded some of the videos to my youtube channel.

This use of youtube is where life started to wander off on a trip down "Nostalgia Avenue",  I found a you tuber that I had followed some years back..more to do with trans stuff than anything else, and she had returned after something a hiatus. She still had a few subscribers, myself amongst them, even after the long break...

A few years back I used to do ALOT of this you tube stuff, all to do with cars, nuts bolts, breaking and fixing things.

Sooooo.... had a look at some of my old videos, mostly to do with the automotive stuff and even after all this time there are still 40 subscribers still on there! (like what?) with one vid hitting something like 8k views... (ok ok hardly viral but y'know thats a fair few)

So, I've sat and wondered "what to do about that?" I mean I haven't exactly done much spannering on sports cars, since 2009, but I did put a whole new front suspension in my old van. Vanessa is a game old girl, 160,000 miles, tired, a bit rusty, but she stubbornly keeps going. One day I'd kinda like to tidy her up a bit, purely for my own amusement and honestly, cos she was bought for me by a family member in what were very difficult circumstances and taken me where i needed to be in tough times. Yeah yeah .. sentimental ..so sue me...

I am told a two lire lump from a cavalier might fit... petrol conversion.. wonder if anyone has ever put a combo van down the drag strip at Santa pod?

.....nah, but seriously it would be nice to perhaps be able to return in some way to my automotive antics. I'll aways be a bit of a JDM nut, but then again I've often fancied a VAG camper too...

Here's a bit of what i have previously got up to... back when I had more money and less hair...

After having to/deciding to get rid of the sports cars, which was, I have to say, a damn shame and frankly a stupid move, for a brief time i had new toy.. 2011 saw me playing with:

I can still remember the look on the faces of the others in the barrack block when I walked back in that day having been under sealing the bad boy... I mean c'mon, you don't seriously pay other people to do that shit do you? its waaaayy too much fun....

I also pissed off the RSM of the camp, who to be frank, had "big badge in a small world" syndrome, by leaving the truck in the "wrong place" I often wonder how he coped when he realised the real world outside his bubble will happily walk all over his "authoretay" ....probably ended up a traffic warden.. couldn't happen to a nicer twa...er guy... but whatever I digress...

Mind you I wasn't the only one playing with automotive toys back then... ... I had some partners in crime too... the guys I grew up with are a funny, lovable bunch...

ReTread.tv

Perhaps if things pan out, with this new possiblity, I may well resurrect the old "spanner monkey" you tube channel for a bit of petrol headed nonsense. I have hankering for the two wheeled variety.....

*ahem*..... BMW GS1150....*ahem*

Who knows?. But whatever the outcome, every now and then when the road ahead is uncertain, it can pay dividends to look in the rear view mirror and remember just where we have been. And more especially, how we got there in the first place. You'll know from my last post that confidence is movable feast for me. ;-)

I am however going to Vlog the road trip and parts of the two days in south wales. ..I mean .. cmon..why wouldn't you?

So keep ya eyes peeled people.. though I dunno what the title will be yet....

"The Spoken Sprocket" gets "stubbornly optimistic"....
"Road trip rambles"?
The "Sarah & Vanesa chronicles....."  ?
The Vanessa Vloggs?

Ok.. i'll stop now, don't want to turn into just another "pun"dit....tada!....

Till next time...

;-)

The exciting, scary, and sad thing about life is...

Hi

I've had an unexpected turn of events this week, the result of which is I'm gonna be on a mammoth road trip in the latter half of the next. Me and Jonny 5 are going to spend a day at bike park wales.

Why does this always come up when I'm outta condition....?

Ok so lament over. Hey I'm fat, Winter hibernation lasted till May, which in anyone's language is almost June and thus 6 months into a 12 month year. I kinda woke up to this today when I was (re)organising an appointment for my daughter and the lady said , "1st of June?" at which point my brain went:

"But that's still ages awa......oooooohhhhh...er yeah ok.." 

So that happened.

But the scary thing is that this road trip might grow into something that requires a move. A permanent one. In as much as anything is permanent.

Ok, so I've moved all over this darn country, and the days doing so were cool, I get the new and exciting kinda fresh pastures vibe. But this is different. This time I'm (potentially) moving as trans person. One of the most miss represented and miss understood groups within that thing our species loves to call society.

And also, incidentally, as a civilian, which means no cozy safety net of a large organisation. It's all on me. And "me" has little to no resources.

I don't mind telling you that this is seriously freaking me out right now. SOOOO many things could go wrong here, from discrimination, (which tbh I've yet to experience in any huge degree), to housing, healthcare, isolation, ....etc. You know, the whole nine yards...

Yet, it could also all go so right. It could.

Whatever the out come, the North East is - and shall remain - my home. To quote the words of a few recruiters, I have to wonder why my "very impressive CV" cannot illicit some form of regular paid income in the place where I grew up. I know these hills, valleys and forests. Frankly I don't want to leave...again.

But if that is where the winds of life take me, then who am I to set my sail against the prevailing weather?

Fear is an odd thing. I've never really been afraid of choice before. TBH I've never really been that bothered about many things that others might find quite terrifying. And yet....sometimes life changes you to a point where one is so afraid of failing that this becomes "too afraid to try". We become so wrapped up in the "what if's" that one forgets to look at the "can do's"

Fear leads, therefore, to stagnation, inactivity, and eventually if unchecked, paralysis of all decision, lest it be the wrong one. Thus I guess the short answer to all that is simply that "I have a confidence problem"

(My brain reading this: Feckng what? no shit sherlock...you been battered by tons of baggage over the years.. your confidence is shot bro' and you is working this out now? #facepalm) 

So, tis a simple fix.

I just have to loose the fear, and believe 2 things.

1) It can go right.
2) If it goes tits up, well thats ok too.

Sounds like it really is time to live up to the title of this blog. It's time to really be:

Stubbornly Optimistic 

I'll keep you all posted. 

Sarah

The logic of being daft....

Hi

My recent short post yesterday was an admission that I'm perhaps a wee bit lower of mood than I had previously contemplated, or been willing admit. Last night I received an invite over to friends house  and after some deliberation decided to go. They have two children, the youngest of which is 2 yrs old, fearless and funny, never failing to raise a smile. It occurred to me upon my return that I haven't really got much in my daily life that's "fun" presently.

Then a small voice from the depth of my head asked:

"what's fun anyway?" 

It's dictionary definition is "doing something for reason of it own enjoyment" or something like that.

So..yup you guessed it.. I googled a "philosophical" definition of "fun"

Now I didn't come up with much on "fun" per see, but I did find some interesting things about "humour" and "laughter":

Stanford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy

By all accounts the early greeks such as plato and his contemporaries had dim view of laughter and merry making, seeing it as a lack of self control and unworthy. It seems that they were so wrapped up in the seriousness of their "questions of being" that they had no time for such things as would make the experience of living that much more enjoyable, which was I thought quite odd.

I bet it was a laugh a minute in 350BC Athens.

Yet Aristophanes wrote "Clouds", a satirical play where he mercilessly took the Mickey out of Socrates and others. So laughter wasn't an alien concept.

Here though, the opinions of the early thinkers begin to make sense. It's not the laughter and humour that's the issue. Its is why we laugh.

Plato and his contemporaries .. Aristotle etc, saw laughter at someone as a sign of one being unaware of self. For example we might laugh at a fool who believes themselves more competent than they are, yet in so doing we show ourselves to be somewhat self absorbed, believing ourselves above those being ridiculed. This we might now called a form of bullying, and thus the correlation between the early greeks disapproval of laughter and an immoral action begins to make sense.

But what of laughing together and shared experiences of fun? Well I haven't delved into this in any depth, as tbh I might leave that for another time. But it puts me in mind of a piece I read on the value of friends some years back....

Sadly I can't find it, or who wrote it, nor can I remember where or how I read this, but essentially the point of the piece was that "friendship" is not something critical to life, as for example food, water, or air might be. We can live without it.

Rather it's the case that friends, (and I'm gonna add in shared fun here) are something which gives meaning to life, and thus enriches it's value.

Whist having friends has no survival worth to the processes of life per see, they are one of those things that add great worth to survival, and to life itself.

So, perhaps the lesson here is that when looking at serious, sometimes dry, sometimes personal topics, not to get bogged down in them. To remember that life isn't all about logical arguments and morally acceptable viewpoints. Sometimes its about doing precisely the opposite. The illogical, the silly, the daft.

Because our ability to do that, to enjoy the moment, is where life and the living of it truly resides.

As you'll see in the video, something I once knew rather well, and seem to have forgot.. ;-)

So, with that in mind I'm gonna chuck on some tunes and get ready for the seat post parts arriving this week. I need to go fall of my bike a few times. 

Sarah

Sometimes you just don't wanna think all that hard..

Hi,

Today has been a day off.

Ok, I aint exactly got a ton of "work" knocking down my door here, but it has been a genuine day off. A rest: from thinking too hard.

At first I mistook it for apathy, but although I'm fed up with my situation I don't really think this is one of those depressive mood swings that occasionally hang around me.

I just didn't really want to engage in anything more complex than going to get fuel and groceries, and tbh even that was a chore. After which I came home and bought series 3 of star wars rebels on iTunes. Well, as its easter and as the alternative of chocolate eggs make one fat I thought i'd treat myself.

I suspect tomorrow might be much of the same. I've got the parts for Jonny five's seat post coming, philosophy stuff to read from both Nigel Warburton and John Corivino, and probably some trans centric arguments to have all in the coming week. Although I did put in a job application late in the evening. So we will see how long it take for that one to be rejected.

I am aware of growing sense of unease however. I am in danger of becoming a hermit. I fear re gaining that which was taken from me, since then I would once more have something to loose.

It's why job applications look so damned dull, dismal and dire. What I once called success I now view as the bars of a cage, slavishly working away at something so you can afford to do something else when not slaving.

The contradiction in wanting to willingly climb back into the cage, but make sure the door is ajar, or that I at least have a key is not lost on me.

Tbh I find the irony slightly amusing, or I would perhaps, were it not for the consequence of that irony. Which if not dealt with soon may grow more and more problematic.

Belief, persistence and optimism are all wonderful traits. but if one looses faith, then thats much bigger problem.

let us hope that mine is just temporarily misplaced then..,..

Sarah

More positive pondering, for a change.

Hey all.

Well well, if you've been reading my recent blogs, I think you might forgive me for using a technical term when I say:

"Thee been chatting some heavy shit lately" 

All this analytical writing, and somewhat academic, dare I say "highbrow stuff" can get bit serious at times.

So, lets kick back, chill, just breathe a little. After all, summer is juuuust around the corner, so why not Knock on the sky and and listen to the echo.... echo... echo...

I'm sat here, the day after having had an unexpectedly quiet afternoon/evening. The result of a poorly teenage daughter who has spent most of the day asleep. (Now you might say thats normal teenage behaviour and ok, but in this case twas an exception)

As a result I ended up spending bit of time on the phone to both the bairn's mum and Gran, organising stuff, after which I found myself at loose end.

So, I've had a bit of time to just wander around the house, catch up on critical role and look out the window at the sunshine.

The T130 is languishing in the kitchen corner quietly talking to me, whispering "service my seat post - the sun is shining it's time we were out on the track". I haven't actually ridden the bike since I left the cycle biz in Sept of last year. You know that thing that happens when you take something you really enjoy and turn it into "work"? Yeah, takes the shine off things doesn't it? Particularly when you chuck in a dose of questionable professional stuff...leaves a bad takes in the mouth by association.  but anyhoo this isn't a moan tis a chill out.

So once the bairns back on her feet, and back to school in a week or so, I'm gonna get the bike sorted and revisit some old friends that I haven't seen since last year. The Derwent walk. Hamsterley forest tracks, and probably chop well. This year though I guess I need to get creative, finding a few new routes locally and in the process loses a few lbs without spending too many ££'s on fueling Vanessa.

Jobs wise thees not much to do with Jonny 5. I picked up a hutchinson rear tyre  few weeks back for 13 quid.. (kevlar folding 60tpi multi conditions thing. not bad and much better than the full £50 retail!) Obviously theres the seat post, which currently has more play in it than a land rover prop shaft. Then I think the rear shock could do with a bit of TLC. 

The 130 has done (according to Strava) 3,158 km Only about 700km short of my total over all distance. (on multiple bikes.) This is roughly equal to about 160hrs ish. So, tis definitely due some proper spanner time. 

I'm looking forward to a bit of "kissing the summer wind" and getting some dust on the tyres from the local trails. 

I wonder what new types of weird and "high brow heavy shit" i'll dream up on the way?

Stay tuned!

Sarah

PS:

If you're interested in bikes, and the stuff I've gotten up to, then have look at "The spoken sprocket bog" which I created before this one. It's designed to be little more techie. But since I haven't really done anything.. i haven't written anything over there in quite a while.

The Spoken Sprocket Blog

Tata!

Gender month, Categorical thinking and a 3000 year old question.

Disclaimer.

This piece was originally written on behalf of the Queerness, to be posted this month. However, since some conversations with a few local trans people and emerging divergent views, it would appear to be the case that this publication route is no longer open to me via the individual who requested I write the peice.

I have written previously on the temptation of ardent proponents on one view or another to withdraw from debate on the basis of "indignation" and "principles" Yet as ever in doing so we damage the process of debate and discussion itself.

So here's a thought:

“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.” 

― John Milton, Areopagitica

Edit. 4/4/2017.

Since writing the above, and posting this yesterday the individual concerned suggested that I have misrepresented the views of "the queerness" Fair comment. After all there is a team behind that particular publication. So perhaps on balance that was overstating the case here. It's not "the queerness" as a publication that is at fault. Merely one of its curators for putting personal opinion before open debate. A fact made abundantly clear by the fact that their Facebook page and twitter accounts were blocked to me long before this could be discussed via more appropriate means.

All this stemmed from a Facebook discussion of a recent India Willougby piece ... Sadly the  thread has  now been deleted .

By all means read the queerness, its usually rather informative and thought provoking. I mentioned the entire publication in an effort to keep this on an impersonal basis. Maybe that was somewhat naive, so, with no other recourse I must single out the individual responsible for condemnation. Gatekeeping of articles on the grounds of personal opinion and miss representation of the content therein is poor form. It was suggested that the article below, and by extension me,  are things the individual had no time for, since it was merely rehashing of the old women are men debate. Read it. I'll let you all decide.

So, here's the "dangerous" article make of it what you will and by all means, let me know.
__________________________________

Brexit, leavers, remainers, Britain, The EU, Gender, man, woman, sex, black, white, hispanic, Republican, Democrat, rich or poor.

I'm sure on reading the above various people will have rolled their eyes at least once and thought:

"Oh lord, not again!"

Humanity loves it's categories. Science thrives on them, learning, discovering and clarifiying collective wisdom on the basis of experiments, proofs and the categorising of it's results. Sadly there are also those who would use categories as a means for social and economic division.

Thinking and explaining outcomes by use of a system of categories is a useful tool, just think of the elements and periodic table for example, or behavioural studies of chimpanzee's. Even consumer product marketing surveys. However categorical thinking is also occasionally problematic. One should bear in mind that the existence or evidence of a phenomenon isn't dependent upon the category into which it is placed. Rather the category exists as result of the observation and existence of what has been observed and thus is a measure of our collective understanding it at any given time.

Medicines and the categorising of drugs is a perfect example, by being a reflection on their observed effects on the body, and the changes and alterations to the categories over time reflecting how our knowledge may change.

When it comes to legality and politics, it would seem that categories take on an importance far  outweighing their actual purpose. With inclusion into one or other category inferring a legitimacy and implied view of the world that may or may not be the case. As an example just look at the  Republican verses Democrat categorisation in the US currently. Many people assume all republicans have a universal view of things like race, religion, and certain civil freedoms, yet this is not always so. With regard to legal protection, being defined as "included" in one or more categories often confers certain rights and/or protections on people. The important point here is this:

Humans are always individuals. That fact cannot be altered as a result of changes to categories, their borders or definitions, since those borders are arbitrary thus we remain unchanged by them. 

However the same cannot be said of the effects on humans. Imposed inclusion or exclusion to and from a category, and the resultant change in other's perceptions of us is very real. While we are not directly changed, the interaction with the world can - and often does change  - dramatically. (Just look at a typical work promotion or lottery winner scenario, or lets say a trans person coming out and losing their well paid job)

This months topic at queerness is "Gender". One of these categories, & one that has seen much debate in recent months. Various positions and definitions exist, both of what "gender is" and what we should do about it. If you like, this is the debate on how the human race should subcategorise itself, and who should be allowed to occupy which bits of the subcategories be they man, woman, NB, agender etc.

There are many in the trans population who (for very justifiable reasons) at the mention of these arguments will do what I predicted above. A tired weary roll of the eyes and the thought "not again". Some do not wish to discuss the matter, fed up of hearing over and over the counter arguments to their existence and validity.

It's hard to argue incessantly in the face of constant recrimination and dissent. It's hard, after rolling ones eyes and mentally ticking the list of things we've heard time and time again, to pick up a pen or a keyboard or a leaflet or a protest sign and rebut these arguments again and again and again. And. Again.

However I would argue that we must.

We must continue to engage the likes of Murray, Greer, or other elements of the not so complimentary press, and to continuously, ceaselessly state the case of a more appropriate categorical system that takes into account new levels of knowledge and understanding since the original "gender" term and its subdivided boxes were first labeled. No matter how boring, dull and repetitive or reductive this seems there must always be a ready answer to those who would use categorical thinking, or even its abolition,  as basis for an exclusionary policy.

So what does that mean for those who stand outside these old original boxes, or have the legitimacy of their being in them questioned?

It mean's giving consideration to definitional and causality arguments. It means citing historically and culturally different views of gender, as examples of humanities variety and wisdom. It means acknowledging and debating the legal disparity between current legislation for "Sex"and "Gender" (Legal definitions that were obviously built on the old category system, thus may require revision)

It means that rather than discounting every single point that our opponents foist upon us whilst yelling "bigot" and "transphobe", because we assume everyone knows them to be false, poorly constructed arguments, we must subject each to critical examination and structured philosophical, scientific rebuttal, to once again prove our point. We simply cannot afford to close down the discussion by means of an outstretched palm and "no we aint going there" responses. Not any more.

It's dull, it's repetitive and in some cases can lead those who engage opponents in the gender debate to being somewhat ostracised by other, more entrenched sections of their own "category" Since by giving ground they lay themselves open to accusations of exclusionary views themselves. (guilt by association if you will)

But consider the alternative.

To disengage from the unpalatable discourse, and to assume the debate is over because "everyone knows better now" is to invite those opposing views which we give so little credence to have an unchallenged voice with free reign to an audience that still doesn't know.

The Greer's and Murray of this world are not speaking to us, They are aiming at an entirely different audience. The ones who don't know. If we don't reply in kind, those words go unchallenged. The social standing of our critics confers implied legitimacy on their words allowing the myths and exclusionary rhetoric being pedalled as informed opinion to gain an authoritative credence it frankly doesn't deserve.

Theres a good reason Modern day philosophers still study and apply the 3000 yr old writings of Socrates, Plato, (Circa 399 BC) and Epicurus (307BC). Various models of ethics and 19th century examples of thinkers such as Decarte, Kant, Rousseau and a host of others. How humans think about, and therefore categorise, themselves has been the subject of debate for at least that long.

It would seem then, that assuming "the debate(s) regarding gender(s) are over" is perhaps a tad arrogant?

With respect to gender itself. Whilst questions of causality and scientific discovery are important, they themselves will not tell us what to do. Scientific arguments may clarify where we place our category boundaries as descriptors, assisting a legal argument. However the ethical debate still continues, since the scientific & legal arguments cannot solve the ethical ones. All are equally important however, if one views knowledge, learning and parity for all as being the ultimate goal, rather than "being proven right"

That our species still have problems with this concept is a sad reflection on the Human Condition. Being born black, white, gay, straight, trans, cis, rich, poor, or whatever political persuasion you ultimately gravitate towards. These are not problems. It's our collective attitude towards the meaning and validity of each catagory that are problems.

Dont believe me? Just look at America. After 8 years of a progressive president who happened to be Black, people had stopped believing that old outdated rhetoric had any power. They stopped engaging. Result? A white supremacist in the oval office. Brexit? Need I say more?

So, whatever the category, whatever the conversation, we must always engage the debate, because ones thing is for sure. Your opponents definitely will.


Sarah.

Feeling a little odd...

Hi all you lovely people.

I had planned to add to the mini series on the basic's of philosophy this afternoon. But tbh my mind is wandering off down tracks a little less structured, so I decided to let it do so and just figure things out as I went, leaving the more academic stuff for another time.

I was out and about at a local college today, finishing up on small program designed and operated  jointly by the DWP and the college. Its one of those  "Back to work things"

I dont mean to be brash when I say that academically its of no use to me, since its far below the level at which I'm already qualified. However it was of benefit in other more subtle ways.

Meeting people, and just being out and about is very much under rated. Sure we all love to chill out at home, but after seven dark winter months of partially forced and partially welcomed hibernation It's obvious that this grizzly need to get out more.

Why have I written so much in recent months? Well because the end of  my college courses coincided with the end of my job and the end of the summer so, thankfully I hooked into something that took my interest and it's kept me sane.

Years ago, when i was first seeking jobs and stimulation from the world at large the last thing I wanted was a steady 9-5. I wanted challenge, adventure, interest, excitement and to use a technical term, to "find out about new shit" that I didn't yet know. So after wandering around fora few years I signed up in the uniform of UK plc and went off to play in the big wide world.

What I didn't know of course is that the "big wide world " largely fails to examine that which it doesn't know outside of  the abstract or academic. That, and others acceptance of the questioning of same whilst wearing said uniform depended greatly on the level of badge one held.

Now in my early 40's I would be quite content with a 9-5 sort of role. Although going to the same place each day would be fine i think i'd still struggle doing the same thing. Repetition without challenge or growth is simply dull. and this is where my blogs have been a bit of a cathartic life line.

I may be severely limited by lack of resource, resulting in a  very humdrum existence and largely empty routine, but "the mind" is a great thing. It needs little to produce much. Thought can allow us to escape any physical prison you care to mention. A fact that was brought home to me the other night during a rare occasion where I found something of interest to watch on Einstein's favourite time waster.

"Amazing spaces" hosted by George Clarke were building a caravan. Not just any caravan, but one designed and planned in meticulous detail by a former POW who had, for nearly 4 years, suffered horrendous treatment at the hands of the Japanese.

Sadly the designer, "Reg" died having never seen it built, but his daughter - herself now a pensioner -  had found the notebook containing the planning that had kept her father sane during this period. I also learnt of the underground university. Where the men would pretend to play cards whilst sharing knowledge of all sorts of subjects.

My time in the medical world allowed me to bear witness to the incredible feats of human resilience. Mental willpower. How one meets problems has a direct bearing on the effect those problems have on us.

My life is not even in the same ball bark as someone with a terminal illness, or suffering extreme deprivation like that seen by POW's in the eastern conflicts, but it occurred to me the approach to the challenges brought in each case have been similar.

I sure you've all heard it before:

"It's not the problem thats the problem, it's your attitude to the problem that is the problem. "

Reg's drawings:

 And the finished article:

So:

When life is a bit odd, and you feel a little weird, things aint going like they should and you're left wondering what path to tread,

Consider Reg's attitude to the problem, and ask yourself, "is the answer already in my head?"

'Cos which ever way you cut it, In Reg's case and those like him, that was a bloody great attitude.

Till next time,

Sarah

"The call"

The call.

Time. Tis endless and formless,

An obvious abundance.

Fill it we shall with thought and deed,

no matter the reason or how slim the need.

We wake, to endeavour to toil and do.

We sleep to recover, then to repeat anew.

An endless processions of bytes and bits

pass by our eyes, under fingertips.

Filling our time with that we don't need

till a call is missed that we failed to heed.

Observed with closed minds, the signs often were

Distracted by working and earning a “share”

“But we didn't know!” rang the voices of many,

“We were too busy just earning next penny!”

“How could we know that doom was at hand?”

“By raising our heads and appraising the land?”

“How could we know that our bubble was false?”

“Or realise soon enough that promise was lost?”

“The rise of destruction was so silent you see”

“So really how aware could you expect us to be?”

American, Russian, British too

Be you Muslim, Christian, Hindu or Jew,

raise up your minds and seek that call,

for on hearing it early,

rests the fate of us all.

Time. Tis endless and formless,

A necessary illusion

Filled it we did with nought and collusion

And when it ran out, like it inevitably would

can we then say:  "we did all that we could?"

Sarah Ellis 2017

Firelight and shadow

Sunday, March, 2017. A little village in the North East of England on Planet Earth.

At Twenty-five minutes past Two in the afternoon.

Today I find myself detached, unable to write much of consequence or focus on any of the larger  projects I have at various stages of completion.

Yet the Sun shines, the weather grows warmer and I get the feeling that just round the corner theres a sea change coming. Spring, it would seem is a great herald of hope.

Yet doubt clings at my mind like an oily residue, I've been here before, with all indications looking favourable, yet I ended disappointed. It takes an act of blind faith on occasion to keep going, to "do" when you feel more "don't".

Often times when we find ourselves in these mental places, it is our friendships that assist in navigation of choppy waters. Our sense of place amongst peers that guides our ship back to calmer seas and a firmer heading.

Sadly, I find myself unable to avail myself of that help this day, thus I turn to the blank page of the internet blog, a keyboard and my own thoughts whilst staring out the window at a sunny, warm and  inviting but ultimately indifferent day.

I am intent on the problem at hand, my detachment. It's causality, and thus its resolution. It would seem that the allegorical story of "Plato's cave" is quite apt.

Pato's cave

But what of myself? Free soul? or returning cave dweller? The answer to that depends on the outcome of the internal conversation between hope, faith, fear and doubt.

Plus, I guess also how hard those people aiding my escape pull on the ropes.

I'll let you know.

Sarah

Ethics, Maxims, and Activists.

Hello!

Today's foray into philosophical thought continues with a few meandering musings on ethics, maxims, otherwise known as motivations, and activists. In this specific case activists in the field of gender diversity, but broadly speaking any area of activist work, be it animal rights, nuclear disarmament, even philosophy, or whatever you might envisage.

Recently there was a case over in a US college where the graduation ceremony came under scrutiny for reasons of Gender Identity. In essence it boiled down to a long standing tradition of girls wearing gold gowns and boys wearing green gowns. This as you might imagine can be somewhat problematic to those who transition, be it from one side of the gender conversation to the other, or somewhere in the middle, whether between the two or neither of each.

So. The school principle asked the student body what it's member's wanted, and it appears that the feedback received was for trans people to wear the colour they identified with. Simples.

But wait a minute, theres only two choices, so what of those who are partially or wholly in the category of both or neither?

So the school now has a choice of routes it might take, given the wishes of the student body, that all gender identities be recognised.

• Introduce a few new colour options for those who associate outside a "two party system" 
• Decree everyone wear the same colour, regardless of gender be it cis, trans,binary or otherwise. 

Here's where it gets a little unclear dependent on ones viewpoint. What is the ethical option for the school here? Do as the student body asks, or make everyone the same by way of elimination of the colour difference that brought up the question in the first place? It could be argued that the first solution addresses and solves the problem, where as on the other hand the second, dependent on its method of application could do so, from some perspectives, or is it merely removing the problem while presenting no actual solution to the issue of recognition? Furthermore, gender identity is for some a private matter, as such is it ethical to broadcast this diversity?

Thus we arrive at the questions of perspective, motive, and choice.

Choice first. If the students choose to wear a robe that celebrates their diversity in a public way then that is their choice and thus carries no ethical implication in so far as  privacy concerns. If they wish to do so but are denied that choice that would be ethically questionable at best or discriminatory at worst.

Perspective. Some of the student body might be ok with the one colour solution or a two colour solution, since it fits their requirements. But hold on, if it unethically disadvantages the choice of other groups then that too would also surely be morally questionable? Indeed it's the whole premise on which this argument of representation is based.

Motive. "Why" is either option chosen? Was it to celebrate diversity, promote inclusion, or simply remove an administration headache that the school didn't really want to deal with? Who's wishes are to be taken into consideration here? Are all views given parity or are some of the stakeholders in this question of representation accorded greater value? If accord must be reached can it be done so as to cause the minimum disruption to the minimum number of people, yet still be ethically sound?

let's look at each scenario and see who the winners and losers are:

The one colour solution, 

First of all the problem is which colour? If one choses the historically male associated green colour then its arguable those who don't identify in that way are unethically disadvantaged even discriminated against. Similarly so if one chooses the historically female associated colour. Those who identify out side the binary are adversely affected in both scenarios. A problem with this approach is therefore that it could be said to erase the gender representation of for all, and removes choice. Perhaps then one introduces an entirely new none gender associated colour scheme? Ok, that works better, but still doesn't allow choice or representation, although it admittedly removes the historical gendered connotations thus the potential for individuals to experience dysphoric complications arising from a one colour solution could be lessened as a result. 

The two colour solution

This "could" work by virtue of allowing students to wear the robe they most closely identified with, but clearly doesn't deal in any way with the group of individuals who are both, neither or fluid. Thus again denying them choice, representation and of course leaving open the question of discrimination. 

The multi colour solution.

This presents an option for male, female and NB identifying people, perhaps with variations on the NB that reflect where people might see themselves to be on the oft quoted gender continuum. It allows choice for all, and crucially deny's none of the groups representation. Each group can celebrate it's individuality without adversely impacting on another group, thus the need for compromise is lessened. The down side of this solution may be that it's the most complicated and costly to implement and requires the highest level of engagement with the school authorities. 

So what did the school authorities actually do? 

They imposed a single colour solution whereby all students are to wear the colour that was previously associated with male identifying students. 

Consider the words "imposed" and "solution"

The result, perhaps unsuprisingly, was that the student body was unhappy, since most of the students including cis, trans and NB ones did not want this course of action. Imposition of an unwanted  solution on an unwilling student body unsurprisingly caused dissent. This was then directed at the trans and NB people, since they were seen as the drivers for the need to change anything in the first place.

Was this a "solution" in the true sense, or did it just paper over the issue so the school authorities could ignore it and move on claiming to be diversity inclusive? 

It's at this point "motive" once more rears its head. 

The 18th century philosopher Emmanuel Kant described the intent behind any action as a "Maxim" "A thought" if you will, that is the reasoning behind any action. So for example the "good samaritan' might have been acting on either of the maxims "help thy neighbour" or "help thy neighbour and you shall be rewarded" Two very different things in terms the ethical nature of the action brought about by the maxim, even though the action itself might be near identical in each case.

So what was the "maxim" in the case of the school authority? 

"Celebrate gender diversity, promoting freedom of gender expression regardless of gender identity" 

This seems doubtful as it would logically lead one to choose a three or more colour system, or the one colour system that is unrelated to the gendered colour markers of history, although as  previously stated that second option deny's choice thus is poorer fit to this mxim

How about:

"Act in the best interests of the students, to minimise sources of discrimination based on gender diversity"

Nope. Since that is arguable on the basis of the chosen system being an imposed and unwanted one that it discriminates against a huge number of students, specifically non male identifying, be they cis or trans alike, NB or otherwise.

Having given this some thought the only maxim I can come up with that adequately covers the imposition of an unwanted male associated single colour scheme is this:

"Make them all wear the same colour, and make it green since the school colour is green"

or the longer version...

"Make them all wear the same colour, so we appear inclusive and gender conforming, Make the colour Green since the schools colours are green, and the problem will go away. If anyone complains then we can shift the blame onto the transgender student body" 

As one can see, either version of this maxim is ethically questionable, since it puts school and public perception above student welfare and true parity of gender diversity. Although the flawed (IMO) "solution" that this maxim gives rise to could actually be argued to benefit a small number of students, namely Male leaning NB, and/or Cis male, it still disadvantages everyone outside that demographic. Also, it's the imposition on an unwilling student body that is the crux here as I said  before. were it not imposed, but requested by the students, then arguably things could be viewed differently, although still not without flaws. But I'll come back to this point. 

So where do the activists come into this? 

This whole (it has to be said relatively minor) issue of clothing raised a discussion amongst the trans community in my local area. Myself and few others discussed the ethical issues surrounding the schools actions. However some in the community viewed the schools single colour policy as a positive. These people were predominantly, though not exclusively those that identified in the NB area of the gender spectrum and in some cases actually worked within gender diversity teaching provision. 

It became apparent when I attempted to put forward the argument I've just explained in this article that it really wasn't up for debate in the minds of some of these individuals. To the point where I myself was accused outright of being something of a transphobic individual with internalised issues. 

Understandably as you might imagine, I had few "issues" with this, and it put me in mind of yet  another quote from a favourite thinker of mine 

“When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.” 

When Socrates said those words he was referring to the basic human trait of slinging insults when the other party has presented an insurmountable argument. I have written about the dangers inherent in taking too stringent a no platforming standpoint, and in accusing me of biased thinking and poor judgment this was a case in point. It was simply an attempt to shut the discussion down, perhaps one might suggest due to perceived seniority of social position and knowledge base, but that's conjecture. 

As you might imagine. It didn't work. Such tactics  rarely do. As ever I asked myself "Why?" "Why is it the case that others wish to shut down the argument?" 

After some reflection, the answer seemed quite obvious, so much so i at first discounted it. The small number of individuals that the ethically questionable actions of the school does "appear" to benefit is indeed the NB identifying students. So one could, as these people did, view this is as "good" outcome. 

There are models of ethics that subscribe to "good" and "bad" regardless of consequences. Specifically religious type models. Other more commonly understood models of ethics are motive based, as in Kant's view which I outline above or consequential, best known as utilitarian arguments. (Bentham and Mill being two proponents). In this case the actions of the school authorise fail both a Motive based approach as demonstrated, and also I'd argue consequential one, be it positive or negative. Thus in essence the only remaining justification for taking a position of describing the outcome as a good action is "because I believe it to be so"  

But I'd suggest this is false/flawed logic. For without fully examining the intent behind the schools actions, - those  "maxims" upon which they were working - acceptance of a perceived benefit is a fools bargain, for it is transient and without real substance. Additionally, since the other members of the student body are wholly disadvantaged in terms of their choice and representation within this scenario, then those who see this as a "good" outcome are championing the very thing that they would actually decry were the situation reversed and NB/other people excluded. Why did they attempt to shut me down? In my own humble opinion, it was so that they didn't have to contend with the ethical holes in their own argument, and ironically, deal with their own internal bias.

So, that set me thinking. (again? yeah things do that) 

Surely one of the central tenants of being an activist and agent of discourse, change, bi partisan progress and societal evolution is to be open mined and to dispationately critically evaluate what is put before you? To look beyond the obvious? 

The requirement to do so and be practiced at it is the reason why student philosophers/lawyers and those who engage in professional discourse often indulge in framing arguments for positions with which they actually disagree. 

One could reasonably say that any given activist has an end goal in mind, thus they are inherently predisposed to perceive actions that move towards and align with that goal as positive. If we accept this premise, then any activist, in any field, must have an agenda, and therefore cannot be deemed impartial. 

This is not a problem as long as they remain aware of this trait & actively compensate for it. After all we all fight for what we believe in. 

BUT. 

It would be nice to think that we humans could all do this activist stuff ethically, logically and insightfully without resorting to knee-jerk reactions, criticisms of opposing viewpoints and down right unjustifiable insults. Particularly when that criticism is based on well founded argument, from inside our own diverse membership.. It is this "knee jerk stuff" that tears the trans movement, be it binary NB gender queer or whatever, apart from the inside. It invites the question: 

How effectively can we discuss issues with our real detractors? 

We do not exist in a vacuum, particularly in America, where this decision was likely taken by a white, cis gender guy, who may or may not have had sympathetic views on "gender transition". Believing that our own "informed" view is the underpinning motivation of every seemingly good outcome is a grave grave error, as is uncritical acceptance of the false progress born of indifference to our diversity. As a result every "success", no matter how well intentioned or hard fought, born from that error will surely end in failure, for any change will be short lived, easily reversed and superficial. 

NB as an identity grouping is the most marginalised of our trans trait human characteristics it deserves to be championed. However that does not confer on those who champion it's rights the legitimacy to do so at the expense of other trans trait identities, binary or otherwise and, as in this case, certain members of the cis gender student body. Indeed the mistake is to believe that Trans/Cis, Binary and NB are mutually exclusive at all.  For even a robe has a middle and two ends, regardless of its length or colour.

Until next time, keep talking, and whatever you do, remember:

"Many of the truths we cling to depends greatly on our point of view"

Ben Kenobi, 

So change it regularly, lest you believe your view is the only one possible, or worthwhile

tata,

Sarah.

Edit, Since writing this  there were further  outcomes. You can read the Epilogue to this wee story Here