Sunday, 30 April 2017

Depression and isolation - Ever decreasing circles.


I get up, bleary eyed and head to the bathroom. Work had been busy last night but I have a few days off. I've got plenty to do. The cars need to be ready for a club meeting in a few days and theres always jobs to do on them. I'm lucky, I've got two sports cars, a decent career and the world is pretty good on this sunny morning in Surrey. Its mid summer and hot as a hot thing. My wife and I decide to take our young daughter to local event, since it's just round the corner, on our estate. She runs around between the tents and big vehicles like any other 6 years old, we get ice creams, and and all in all life is good.

It's a nice memory and brings smile to my face, as I recall all the hopes and dreams of three people that were seemingly there for the taking that summer.

And yet.....

Seven years later that little girl is now 13, her mother and I are divorced, the career and cars are gone, as are some of the dreams.

So what went wrong? To answer that, lets fast forward to now, or more correctly 24 hours ago.

I had rough night last night. roiling, seething emotions conspiring keep me from sleep. My situation is so far removed from my former life as to almost unrecognisable. In the 7 years between that hot summer day in Surrey and today, so much has happened, be it good, bad be it, irrelevant, irreverent, or simply inelegant, that I don't quite know where to start.

Depression, Isolation and the big myth. 

What image does the word "depression" conjure in your mind? Who do you see when you visualise the typical persons who might "be depressed"? The World health organisations estimates 350 million people suffer with Depression. Or to to put it another way 5% of the worlds population. 

Of those people, the "reasons" for the depression will be as varied and as diverse as humans themselves. I recent re watched some of the works by one Stephen Fry, who likened depression to "the weather" It's something that for many "just happens", and there's a great truth in that. 

I do like Stephen, since he brings to bear and intellect and honesty that is compelling. He openly discusses that which once resided behind firmly closed doors, and completes the enquiry and thoughtful examination of the issues from a perspective routed in compassionate and ethical discourse. That is a rare thing these days. 

"The weather" is such a good analogy, since when it rains, its just raining. No point denying that its raining, and of course at some point it will stop raining, the sun once more returning. Depression therefore is simply like mental rain. Our own personal cloud. And of course, when it rains, one cannot but get wet. 

Of course for some its hurricane, and for others a gloomy grey and leaden sky. For still others it is like an ever present fog, or walking through treacle. All these metaphors have been used at various times to describe what "depressed" feels like.

A good friend of mine who knows first hand what the feeling is like sent me this picture the other day:



It's very apt, or at least it is for me. 

So much for what depression is, but how do we deal with it? Well there are a few ways, and if we use an analogy of something like asthma, not all methods will be appropriate for all people. 

Over the next few days, after the bank holiday as my own circumstances allow I'll expand on that and share a few things that have worked, and still work for me, plus other ideas and suggestions on the issue of mental health, self care etc. 

As for what went wrong?  It's simple. back when I began to realise there was an issue, I took too long "just dealing with it" and when I eventually sought help for what had become unmanageable that help was patchy, being in some areas great, and in others woefully lacking. 

Whilst one can never say what an outcome "might have been" and I suspect that some situations would not have resulted in different outcomes, perhaps it may have been wise to act sooner. 

We shall never know. 

Have a great bank holiday ;-) 

Laters! 

Friday, 28 April 2017

It's 25 minutes to midnight....

....and i don't feel much like going to bed.

Hi, 

Although paradoxically I'm not really a fan of the idea of being awake either. 

In the first case, I don't want to go to bed because that signals the end of another, somewhat empty and repetitive day, which feels much like failure. On the other hand since it is repetitive and empty, prolonging it in the hope that something might change amongst the dying embers of the last minutes is kinda forlorn - yet oddly compelling. 

This then is the paradox of depression. The disinterest in anything, yet boredom with being disinterested. Thankfully I don't have the anxiety that some have. I do have apathy in spades however. An ever present sense of futility, of the morbid reality that in a few short years the sum total of zero will return to precisely that integer. 

Of course all things die, its kinda what make life precious. The mere fact that it will end and that we do not know when or how is what makes every waking moment precious. 

But knowledge of that fact for someone in my position, someone for whom thinking, self awareness and logical examination is at their core of self, just adds to the feelings of abject failure when one cannot, as they say "make the moments count" and is merely reduced to "counting moments" 

I'm shortly to write a blog and other articles on the political machinations of the current moment, allied with the philosophy of politics as part of my mini series on philosophical basics. Yet as I sit here delaying the inevitable demise of what feels like another wasted & unproductive 24 hour period, I am left wondering just how objective I am likely to be on that point. 

You see, for me the coming election isn't just about philosophical ideals and varying economic models. It is, perhaps for the first time in my life, of great personal consequence. Should this country have a further 4 years of conservative right wing governance of the type that is currently in vogue, then my prospects are dire. 

However, should the classical socialist values reemerge, and gain some form of agency to actually reverse the decline in those things that go into the making of a society, like health care, education, employment, and infrastructure, then I may have a chance. 

Why is this a first for me? well because no government, regardless of political affliction, would let the military be seen to be none functional. Since it is an extensions of both government and country itself. Thus for all my years of service I was insulated from the realities of the civilian world that the vast majority live in. Elections didn't matter on a personal level. I went were I was told to, and was paid well for it. The government was my boss, and that was simply that. 

Recently I've written quite alot on the categorical nature of the human organisational mind. We love to think in categories. So here are a few. 

White
Unemployed 
British
Male
Married
Content
Director
Parent
Healthy
Self employed
Soldier
Nurse
Poor
Depressed
Profesional
Divorced
Employed 
Woman
Trans Gender
Intersex
Affluent

Each of these categorical descriptors all conjure differing vision and concepts in the mind. However. At varying points in my life, All of the above could be, and indeed were attributed to me. Or rather I to them, be that by myself or other observers.

The point here is that whilst acknowledging change as the only constant, I am still to a greater or lesser degree the same individual that I ever was. I am still "me" even if "me" isn't as it was 20 years ago. 

I see those I once served with, and others, who still exist within the categories I once inhabited. I had no knowledge of the true extent to which my bubble of existence was a two way mirror, the brightness of my own life eclipsing the view of the darkness surrounding it.  Opinions thus formed that were based on this limited view. 

However the irony, once expelled from the bubble, is that by being in the darkness you can see into the bright bubble very clearly, and therefore see more than those who still are where you once were. The sight is quite ... revealing. 

This is why there are certain areas of the country, usually the more affluent, that will still vote conservative in the coming election. Not because they are bad uncaring people. But because their two way mirror blinds them to the world beyond the bubble. They believe that socialism is "bad" since what they have now is "good" and therefore it must be ok for everyone. Sure it a generalisation but I'm sure you get the idea. 

Actually today did have one mile stone. A rejection from the local patient transport service. Apparently I don't have the correct license to drive then vans. 

I am left wondering what point I was making with this entry. I am not sure. Perhaps if anything it is that the value society places on a person has little to do with that person, but everything to do with notions of what it might be that the person stands for

That's actually a good metaphor for the "perceived wisdom" that JC, the current labour party leader is weak and unelectable. 

Why is this touted? Simple. Fear. Not of the man, but of what he represents. The fear that if a left wing classically socialist based view gains leverage then those currently with influence will loose their grip on that influence. To some extent they aren't going after JC the man. They are going after JC the metaphor. The conservative right and the current well entrenched power base wish to diminish the counter argument to their own growth and success. So they go after the categorical idea, with little thought to the man himself and the consequences of that approach. 

It's the same when lobby groups go after trans, LGB, animal rights, pro life or pro choice abortion debates. religious exemption etc etc etc... Denigrate the categorical reasoning and all those who might inhabit it. Call it dangerous, deluded, or whatever, and be damned to the human consequence and cost, or - if your second name is Trump - any adherence to historical and/or current versions of facts and truth. 

Well, at the risk of sounding grandiose. I am that cost, at least when considers Trans as an issue. Looking at where I was, what I did and why I did it, all with the best of intentions, but with the express purpose of "achieving" and being representative of something with perceived value, whilst not paying attention to my own self. 

Yet with the notable exception of family & friends. Little I had during that "success" was of true value. And whilst what I "represent" now may have less affluence and be of questionable worth to society, it holds within it a damn sight more truth, and thus actual value.

I wonder, and am sometimes asked, if what I lost was worth it. I have to say yes. Every time

You see, to use a Socratic expression, I did trade bronze for gold. I traded the appearance of beauty (in the greek sense) for true a beauty. Knowledge. 

And perhaps now at 25 minutes to 1 in the morning on my 229th consecutive day out of paid work, I have my positive thought. Slowly rising into the night from those dying embers. 

Peace out. 





Tuesday, 25 April 2017

It doesn't get much more optimistic than this ....



We weren't born to follow .... 


This one goes out to the man who mines for miracles This one goes out to the ones in need This one goes out to the sinner and the cynical This ain't about no apology This road was paved by the hopeless and the hungry This road was paved by the winds of change Walking beside the guilty and the innocent How will you raise your hand when they call your name? Yeah, yeah, yeah We weren't born to follow Come on and get up off your knees When life is a bitter pill to swallow You gotta hold on to what you believe Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow And that your saints and sinners bleed We weren't born to follow You gotta stand up for what you believe Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah This one's about anyone who does it differently This one's about the one who cusses and spits This ain't about our livin' in a fantasy This ain't about givin' up or givin' in Yeah, yeah, yeah We weren't born to follow Come on and get up off your knees When life is a bitter pill to swallow You gotta hold on to what you believe Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow And that your saints and sinners bleed We weren't born to follow You gotta stand up for what you believe Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah



We weren't born to follow Come on and get up off your knees When life is a bitter pill to swallow You gotta hold on to what you believe Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow And that your saints and sinners bleed We weren't born to follow You gotta stand up for what you believe Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah We weren't born to follow - oh yeah We weren't born to follow - oh yeah


Failure is temporary, 
the need for effort eternal. Sarah

Possibilities, Principles and People.

Hi,

I've just returned from my Bi-weekly appointment at the job centre to sign on. Whilst there a very kind lady with whom I had met a number of times had picked out a few leaflets she thought might be useful and helpful to me, since I've now been out of work for 225 days, and she knows of my qualification levels and background etc.

It was a leaflet for the Army Reserves. In which one is allowed to complete 200+ days in each year with no adverse effects to ones job search benefits. It's good money, and in my younger days I enjoyed it.

It made me think. (no surprises there eh?)

A bit of History..

Some time ago after I'd left regular service and nursing, I chatted with a friend who is in the army reserve and who more or less offered that i could rejoin my old unit (back when i was a part time soldier it was called the TA) However, given the history I have with the army, trans, etc I was at that time somewhat reticent.

But what of now?

The lovely lady in the the job centre was looking at the financial angle, and to be honest its fair point. I'm very strapped for cash, and AR could solve that issue.

However. Back in 1995 when I first walked through the gates of my old TA unit, I wasn't there for money. I was an idealist. I believed in the goodness of the British Army, the UK and its mission to bring british values and common sense to situations around the globe.

Yeah yeah I can all hear you laughing already.

Nowadays I'm not so sure if I actually believed that or just never really questioned the stuff I'd been lead to believe from an early age. As a young 'un i was hungry for success, and affluence, I wanted to make a difference, do something worthwhile and interesting, and have a ton of fun whilst doing so. I was once asked by an officer during basic training why I had joined the medics:

"To patch up the holes made by other regiments, Sir"

It made him chuckle and we all got an early finish for that. 

Life in uniform has taken me to Germany, Iraq, France, Cyprus, Gibraltar, and Wales. I've moved around, been moved around and done some pretty cool stuff.

But was it Fun? Difficult question to answer that one. I'll fall back on a description of my one and only operational tour, that I coined some years back.

Hours of boredom, punctuated by seconds of shear terror, 
but made possible by many moments of laughter.

The people were and are the best part of my experience in uniform. But theres the rub. people were also the worst part, and remain the most unpredictable. 

My experiences in life have lead me to become more of a realist than an idealist these days. I am now aware that some rules are applied, and others not, whilst still others are applied when and if the situation demands, in something of an interpretive manner. All of which have varying moral significance.  So what of this idea of joining the AR? 

Well, I still believe wearing a military uniform is something one doesn't do purely for money. "why" is a more pertinent question than if it were say, part time at tescos's.  So if I was to look at rejoining there would have to be some other reason. 

I am a very different person to that 20 year old kid who first walked into the barracks. Not just in the obvious sense of trans stuff, but also due to 22 years of accumulated experience and "knowledge" (whatever that might be). My notions of ethics, politics, humanity, nationality plus all manner of other things lead me to question whether a military uniform might not button up just little too tight over so many opinions and questions. I have little time for autocracy, or "badge fights" so the likelihood is high I would run into many conflicts. 

I no longer "believe" in the innate common sense of the British way, or its lauded values. That Britain is long gone, if it ever actually existed. What we have now is ...something else. 

"Why" are the AR looking for people? Well one can suggest that its due to the redundancy and cuts the military have endured over the recent years. The organisation's own people have been very much short changed, after having committed much more to the "job" than the average employee might otherwise.  Thus, it feels somewhat mercenary to jump back in when others have been pushed out, and quite frankly, theres no trust between those in the uniform and the politicians that decide their fate at present. The oft quoted military covenant as it were. All the management stuff i've considered academically over the past year points to it being a can of worms in a shit storm of incompetence. 

But there's more to it than that. If I do not believe in what the British Army currently stands to protect, in the corporate sense, then were I to once more step into uniform, that would be merely for personal gain. As Kant might suggest, the maxim upon which that action is based could be judged as somewhat immoral. 

Or in other words, sacrificing my principles and what little idealism I have left purely for financial rewards. Thats the very definition of selling out. 

Don't misunderstand me. The British Army, as an instrument of UK diplomacy, still has its place. it's just that on balance, I believe there's no longer a place for me within it's ranks. Those who consider philosophy and questions of that nature are in general looking at the meanings in and of life. The conclusions I've reached lead me to believe the meaning of mine now lies in another direction. 

What that direction may be we shall have to discover via other means. 



It's ironic that some of the very things my time in uniform taught me are now the same things keeping me out of that same uniform. 

Sarah 


Monday, 24 April 2017

gnothi seauton


gnothi seauton
Know ThySelf”

For my part, as I went away, I reasoned with regard to myself:

I am wiser than this human being. For probably neither of us knows anything noble and good, but he supposes he knows something when he does not know, while I, just as I do not know, do not even suppose that I do. I am likely to be a little bit wiser than he in this very thing: that whatever I do not know, I do not even suppose I know.”

Socrates.

Frivolity, Choices, and Decisions

Hi,

Prologue:

I wrote this some weeks ago for the F word blog site. Recent family events in my personal life have lead to me deciding to post the article here. 

I changed my name almost 2 years ago now, and informed various people in and around my family of the decision to deal with my own experience of the trans gender phenomenon. This resulted in a a general use of feminine pronouns, obviously the decrease in use of my old details and some positive changes. 

Two years down the line, I have a good relationship with the majority of my family, my Daughter is more interested in Skype, Minecraft and an impending visit to insomnia in august than in what she suggests are rather obvious questions of gender. (Kids.. don't you just love em?) And rightly so. 

However:

There are those who would paint themselves as LGBT friendly via social media etc, yet still refuse to use my actual legal name. I have let this pas on many occasion up to this point, since my focus was often elsewhere, but things change. Now OK, mistakes happen in verbal conversation. But not in written. This wilful and frankly dishonest variance between public and private actions is damaging.

Damaging, but not as you might think, to me. Rather it is damaging to one about whom I care deeply, and who cares for me, via disparaging and dismissive remarks around trans gender and me specifically. Remarks that come to the ears of one who is by virtue of circumstance bound through family ties to both sides of the argument.  

As regular readers may know, I'm a philosophical sort, open to discussion, and aware that multiple opinions exist.  However when one hides behind the flag of inclusion, yet denigrates that which it stands for and the principles upon which it was envisaged, then one forfeits the privilege of being taken at face value in any discussion. 

Why? because one has shown a lack of integrity. So with that in mind there are limits to my patience, and understanding. 

So in a departure from my usual general comments i'll make an aimed and specific one. By all means disagree with me. But be aware, your opinion is not universal, and your decisions and actions in choosing how and when to voice it leave much to be desired. Like all of us, those decisions, and actions will have consequences. I suggest next time you're tempted to voice things of this nature, you are mindful of that fact. 

So, since it seems relevant to the point at hand, here is an edited version of the article from a few weeks ago: 

Is “Trans Gender” a frivolous endeavour?

Recently Fay Weldon added her opinion to the ever increasing morass of views on the “trans gender debate” Suggesting that trans women choose their direction in life based on frivolous judgments and a perception that life is easier as a woman.

Gender is currently a fiercely divisive topic, and not least on the point of whether there should even “be” a debate on the issue. The temptation and indeed reaction from the trans population to recent comments from Fay Weldon, Jenny Murray, Julie bindel, and Germain Greer plus others like them is often derision, scorn and shouts of “trans phobia” and “exclusionary” rhetoric. The recent spate of “no platforms” at universities is evidence of the spreading “moral outrage” at these challenging views being given a stage from which to state their case.

But let's step away from the “outrage” and “knee-jerk name-calling” for a minute.

Consider that the latter two in the above list are long time contributors to the debate on gender as a whole, of which trans is simply one part. Both are noted academics and thus are not unthinking people. Arguably the other proponents of their views are less academically lauded, but non the less Fay read psychology and economics at St Andrews, and Jenni Murray is a long time served reporter.

The common thread here is age. And experience of the historical feminist shift in societal view. To dismiss out of hand the opinions of the contributors and founders of those early discussions is in my opinion to invoke a mistaken kind of moral relativism.

Many many years before our current crop of thinkers were born, another walked the athenian streets. He spent his time there questioning, thinking and criticising. At his death he postulated:

“The unexamined life is not worth living”

This man was Socrates, arguably the founder of modern philosophy and critical thought. So for the proponents of trans gender legitimacy to cry foul and disengage from the debate on the basis that these things should not be examined because they are “too important” or “already known” is perhaps not only erroneous logic, but also counter productive, and a little arrogant. So with that in mind, I decided to explore the question “Is trans gender frivolous”? 

To answer that one really has to consider “why, and how, does one transition?

In researching this article I came across a video of Germain Greer on a discussion panel in 2016. In it she acknowledges that the older interpretations of human sexual biology are perhaps too simplistic, and that some of her former arguments no longer stack up to new evidentiary rebuttal. (She alluding to research and knowledge of the oft misquoted xx/xy chomosomal sex dichotomy)  However the interesting point for me, is that she then went on to say the following:

“…...The interesting thing to me is this, if you decide because you're uncomfortable in the masculine system, which turns boys into men often at great cost to themselves, if you're unhappy with that, it doesn't mean that you belong at the other end of the spectrum”

At this point the chair intercedes, and there follows some discussion with a follow up from Greer that one can't know “what the other sex is”

I find this engaging because if one takes the first statement it seems to make the case for the genetic legitimacy of the `none binary” phenomenon. A perhaps surprising viewpoint for one such as Greer.
though not an unwelcome one.

Many trans people however, do begin at this place of discomfort that she describes. The prevailing pro trans argument over the last few decades has been that this was evidence of “always” having been what society describes as a “man” or a “woman” in-spite of outward appearances. The following sentence might fly in the face of a pro trans argument, but it would not seem unreasonable to question this, and examine the logic behind it. 

One is not born 'man” or a “woman”. One is born a child with a genetic composition that leads to a certain set of developmental outcomes. In some individuals that is “classically female”, in others “classically male”. However there are a significant proportion of the population that have a combination of both. This phenomena is called “intersex”. Not inter-gender. And with good reason, for it specifically relates to developmental biological factors. "Gender" although synonymous with "sex" is not quite the same thing.

Thus consider someone who was assigned “male” at birth (AMAB) due to examination of outward physical appearance, and who subsequently transitions. It is fair to suppose that despite initial appearances to the contrary, their genetic or internal anatomical composition may not therefore be “classically male” in this sense. It could be hypothesised that this difference is the driver for the transition to occur. I'm alluding to anatomical brain studies here, and the simple idea that “intersex” may actually include people of a trans gender nature to a greater or lesser degree.

What does this mean? Well it means that a trans woman wasn't “always a woman” nor a trans man “always a man” Since that's an over simplification and ignores valid societal developmental influence. (nature and nurture) Also the terms “man” and “woman” really belong to the field of gender, not to the field of biological descriptors, thus to use them as such is in my view confusing and wrong.

What the intersex argument may actually mean is that they were always themselves and then at some point decided to do something about how they felt. The cause of the feelings being the anatomy and physiology described above. After which they remain themselves. Knowledge of biological factors is now suggestive of a male/female continuum rather than dichotomy, as professor Greer seemingly accepts, thus it opens the door for yet more discussion on this point. In my view that's a good thing.

Gender: the new schrodingers cat?

The second point of “knowing” is also very much a philosophical context. A point Professor Greer makes during the panel in question.

Professor Greer isn't actually wrong in her comments here. Philosophically we can only “know” ourselves and cannot know or experience the life of others as they do, for we are not them.
It is this single point that sits at the heart of all debates on gender, sex, biology, human behavioural biology and genetics. What we might broadly group together as “The questions of the human condition”

We humans only “know” our own lives. Indeed, for many years pre transition I repeatedly returned to this same question in my mind. “how do I know what I feel like, for I always feel like me?”

I'm one of those people that professor Greer cites often in her arguments. An early 40's transitioning individual who came to a realisation about their own lived experience a little later than some. Singular narratives are always slightly limited in scope and applicability, but I know for myself the reason(s) why I transitioned were not merely clothes, or because of a perception of life being easier etc as Fay weldon might suggest. It was a long long long process of introspection and questioning, of consequential thought and “what if's”. Consideration of family, friendships, physical and mental health to name but a few. It was also a decision taken in the knowledge that society deems it questionable, stigmatising people as a result. Suggesting therefore that such a decision is frivolous would seem to be both illogical and false. 

With her comment regards "knowing" however, Professor Greer misses the bullseye by a mere inch, since in stipulating that a trans person “cannot know” what the/an other gender(s) feels like, she purports to “know” something that she advocates cannot be known, namely a lived experience of a human other than herself. A better premise would be to advocate that others cannot know what a trans person knows or perhaps more accurately, feels. 

This then is the Schroedinger's cat analogy of gender. One cannot prove what is or isn't known to another person by what one knows about oneself. The questions of perceptions, their validity and causality, and of the horizon between mind and body have kept philosophers busy for centuries, dualists and physicalist arguing about to what degree our minds are the sum of our parts.

The simple truth is we “do not know” how trans people feel, or why they feel it, except for that which they can communicate in respect of those feelings. I only know my own experience, it is mine, no other person has it and I cannot have theirs. Thus the way to gain a better understanding of the trans phenomena as part of the human condition is for trans people and cis (non trans) people to engage in debate.

Indeed Julie bindel herself makes this point in an article way back in 2007. She was part of a panel debate which considered the necessity or otherwise of “gender confirmation surgeries”. The debate considered the argument that these surgeries are performed in great numbers in countries where being gay or lesbian in illegal, and thus are used as societal tools to render people as “heterosexual”. We of course know the conflation of gender and sexuality to be a false one, but that doesn't mean certain countries, in this case Iran, have stopped using it as a basis for their societal ends.

Why is this important and relevant? Because it opened the future debate into questioning “why?”. How do we in the western world justify these confirmation surgeries and are they being used effectively? By monitoring the results of interventions and looking at results. These justifications regarding the improvements to a persons life resulting from surgeries and the arguments for those surgeries being the most ethical medical treatment route (when compared to reversion therapy) are still valid today. If society didn't have the debate we wouldn't have gathered data and thus could not prove it to be so.

So, to return to the title and the question raised by Fay weldon. Is trans gender frivolous? We've looked at why people feel the need to transition, and how people might arrive at that point of decision and action, but often once that decision is made I'd admit there can be an outward air of frivolity, or to put it another way the flood gates open and the world suddenly seems fun after years of feeling confined by unseen forces. I'd liken it to a bull who has spent their entire life in captivity chained up in a pen unable to move, and is then set free into a field and paddock. Im sure you've all seen the video's on you tube or Facebook, they go a bit nuts for a while, then eventually calm down. “kid in a sweet shop syndrome”

This is of course a part of an individuals journey in life and their own lived experience, thus informing the overall debate on gender issues, but its not the whole story. The gender debate is part of our questioning of the human condition, both individually and societally. To once more quote the old man in the athenian marketplace as written by one of his students - Plato:

Know thyself”

In striving to do so I believe one can obtain a greater understanding, though not knowledge of, others as result. For some people, Knowing themselves is a life's work, and includes an element of gender transition. That is in my view, and despite ascertains to the contrary, is a very very long way from a frivolous undertaking.


Sarah Ellis

 twitter: @cycle_sol

Epilogue

To "know ones self" is the essence of what we teach our future generations. By placing upon them the burden of our prejudices coupled with an expectation of a shared viewpoint, we stifle not only our own lives, but theirs too. 

Sunday, 23 April 2017

I was just thinking ...

Hi,

I was just thinking I had not written much on here for a while, being busy with the bike blogs and screwing up some part orders.

Then I stumbled upon this on facebook:



I wrote a reply, and as I was writing it I thought, "hang on its getting long winded, why not expand this into blog?"

So I have. ;-) 

Here's the reply:

As a trans woman, this meme is funny, but maybe a little unhelpful. Or perhaps incomplete. It's problematic because it conflates biological arguments with sociological ones and creates "a fact" from a categorical definitional argument that is somewhat subjective. It cites a same argument premise that is used by the opposition to denigrate trans rights. "namely i believe it, therefore its fact therefore all contrary opinions are wrong" In doing so any detractor or discussion is shut down as inappropriate, whether you agree with the bottom statement or not. Food for thought perhaps.

So, to expand on that:

Firstly I'm going to say I broadly agree with the meme. Or, at least the part that says trans women/men are women/men. I agree with it's inclusive sentiment. However:

Lets take the first statement. 

"Saying that some some women have a penis and some men a vulva and is biologically accurate".

Two questions need to be asked here. 

1) Is it true?
2) And how would we know this? 

1) Some people are born with indeterminate or ambiguous genitalia. Some are born with what appears to be normally formed genital antomy, and then later in life express feelings or desires that would lead them to identify with an "opposite" social gender group in some way. The first people we call "intersex", the second group "trans". The reasons as to why this occurs are wrapped up in discussion of anatomical, physiological and genetic human development. Thus it centres around the male and female categories. These terms are still being un picked, due to the erroneous conclusions of an early 20th century biologist being given false credence. However it is the case that some people who present in the social groupings of  "women" or "men" may have genitalia more commonly associated with an "opposite" gender group. 

(I go in to much more detail on this here )

Thus the first statement may be true. I say "may" and the reason for that will become apparent shortly. 

2) We know this much because of research and the existence of both trans people, and intersex people. Research into the brain, human in utero development and multiple studies be they anthropological sociological or otherwise. Plus simply just talking to people.

Let's take something else that seemed odd. If the first premise can only be proven to a level of "may be true" then what of the second ascertain?  Since it uses the word "because", one has to believe the second premise in order to believe the first as they are written: 

"Because trans women are women and trans men are men and your opinion on the matter does not change that fact"

The meme further digs a hole here by stating that trans women are woman and trans men are men as "fact" Yet "a fact" by is it very definition is something which we "believe" to be true, usually due to evidence or what we call proof. For example how many known facts have we humans proven to be false over our history? Specifically in the realms of scientific discovery? It was once a known fact that the sun revolved around the earth for example. 

Thus a "fact" is a movable feast. It is merely the commonly shared belief that something is true to the best of our knowledge at the time in question. In other words a "best guess" given the available evidence. 

Indeed it was "a fact" that females genetically had XX and males XY until very recently. Similarly this fact is now being disproven. Thus to hang an entire argument on the validity of what one believes to be "a fact" may see that argument fail when/if the "fact" is disproven. 

So, given that I am in the pro trans camp how do we pitch this whole premise onto more solid tera firma?

By recognising that the evidence suggests that there may be biological arguments that back up a widening of the sex categories. By recognising that the social categories of man and woman may need redefining to indclude those previously excluded on the basis of old out dated "facts". Therefore engaging in debate on how this should best be achieved. 

And crucially: By refusing to cite "facts" as a reason to shut down discussion of the issue and thus label any detractors to the concept as "wrong" bigoted" "outdated" etc. 

I'd rewrite this as: 


"Saying that some some females have a penis and some males a vulva is biologically correct".  Therefore trans people are valid, and they deserve to be treated as such. "

My biggest gripe with this meme is that it speaks of inclusion whilst shutting down discussion. It speaks of, or alludes to the rights of the trans population with out inviting discussion as to why. And finally it leads those who have for years based notions of gender on genitalia and xx/xy which was after all a known "fact" to disengage from the debate since they believe our "facts"  to be based in fallacy, and that our unwillingness to discuss them is evidence of a lack of evidentiary backing. 

These are the very people we need speak with and to. To educate, and not simply shut the door on. 

If we shut the door, some people may see that as taking a stance against detractors and the nay sayers.  But if we shut that door, discussion and knowledge cannot progress. Decisions as to what role the trans and intersex concepts play in human society cannot be made. 

In short. Trans cannot grow behind a door shut to the possibility of discussion and debate. 

Those who oppose the validity of trans concept will always debate. Therefore so must we. 

Sarah